A movie scene in English…slang

Our friends at Life Hack have collected 30 slang words currently in use in the UK and suggest immediate adoption of these by the rest of the English speaking world!

Take a movie scene of your choice and recreate it in using UK slang and adding a DS106 flavour of your choosing.

 

Add your response

 


There are 22 written responses to this assignment.


Nice Article

Written by Akshay on December 20, 2016 12:39 am
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21 Jump Street – The Hallway Scene

Written by James Rives on September 3, 2015 1:06 am
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Coach: Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You got a pass for bollocking around the hallways like a couple of wankers?
Pass, in your hand. Hello. Bollocks. You guys are late. Now I’m going to have to take you to the principal’s office.

Schmidt: No, no, no, man. Come on, please. Sorry.
Jenko: Come on, please.
Coach: You have exceptional muscle tone there, mate. When’d you go through puberty? Like, at seven or something? You look like you’re in your mid-20s, for crying out loud.

McQuaid, huh? Doug McQuaid. I read your file. You got a lot of something special going on there, mate.

What the hell was that? God damn it, son! Don’t ever raise your hand to me like that again, all right? I consider that a threat.

Schmidt: I was just saying that I’m Doug. I’m Doug McQuaid. See, that’s Brad.
That’s Brad.

Coach: You’re the new bloke who’s All County in track? Really, mate?

S: Yes, I’m Doug McQuaid, the track star, and this is Brad, the science prodigy.

J: He’s really fast.

C: Are you taking the piss? So you’re Doug. You’re Doug. You’re Doug.
You’re Doug. I’m gobsmacked.

Here’s the deal. My track team is full of physically that make me simply want to chunder more often than not.
I mean, if I wasn’t the coach, I’d be laughing my ass off at how tosh they are, but I am the coach, so I need you.
I need me some Doug McQuaid. Understand? Brilliant.
I need you to run anchor on the 4 X 400 at today’s track meet. You do that, and I’ll sign this pass.

Don’t blow on me, son.

S: I haven’t trained.
C: Guys, don’t make me take you to the principal’s office. Do we have a deal?
S: Yes.
C: Nice.

Bugger off, I don’t like that.

Put your tongue back in your mouth. Put your tongue in your mouth, and close it.
What are you doing? Stop it. Actually, that’s not bad. Hunky-dory, then.


Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2013):

Written by Alexis Zirpmoulis @ twitter Azirpmoulis on September 2, 2015 11:49 pm
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They’re trying to murder me! They are barmy!

Just calm down, Sally. You’re safe now. Can you tell me what occurred?

We ran out of petrol. Kirk went for help.

Ello? Ello?

Anybody bedsit?


Clueless

Written by TheLastBreath on September 2, 2015 10:58 pm
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SCENE V – SCHOOL HALLWAY

CHER (on phone)

Dee?

DIONNE

Wassup?

CHER

Did you get your report card?

DIONNE

Yeah, I’m All to Pot. How’d you do?

CHER

I totally gobsmacked. My father is going to go taking the piss
on me.

DIONNE

Mr. Hall was way wanker!

(Cher and Dionne meet up in
the hall)

He gave me a C minus.

CHER

Well, he gave me a C, which damp squib my entire average.

DIONNE

Bye.

CHER

I’ll call ya, OK?

DIONNE

Yeah.

SCENE VI – CHER’S HOUSE

CHER V.O.

Isn’t my house the bee’s knees? The columns date all the way
back to 1972. Wasn’t my Mom a mate? She died when I was just a baby. A
fluke accident during a routine liposuction. I don’t remember her, but
I like to pretend she still watches over me.

CHER

Hey, Ma. 98 in geometry. Pretty brilliant, huh?

“Fake Plastic Trees
(Acoustic Version)” Radiohead

CHER V.O.

Yuk! Uh, the cock up music of the University station.

CHER

Waa, waa, waa.

(Cher enters the kitchen)

Yuh, what is it about college and tosh music?

JOSH

Hey, who’s watching the Galleria?

CHER

So, the flannel shirt deal. Is that a nod to the Brass Monkeys, or are you just trying to stay warm in front of the refrigerator?

JOSH (grabs Cher’s tummy)

Oo, wow. You’re filling out there.

CHER

Wanker. Your face is catching up with your mouth.


Serenity

Written by Emorelleum on September 2, 2015 10:19 pm
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Scene: Mal and crew have just discovered that actions of the Alliance resulted in the death of millions and the creation of a hyperaggressive group of raiders.

Mal speaking to crew:

This Record here’s about 12 years old. The alliance wanted bugger all with it and lost the plot that River here might know their program went all to pot. Theres a universe of people who will be gobsmacked and gutted of what we found here.

You mates are all volunteers, but I must ask more of you than ever before. Those Wankers will try again, whether it take a fortnight or a century, they’ll come to the dodgy conclusion they can MAKE people …better. I do not hold to that, no flight, I aim to take the piss on them.


Bang on About Evil

Written by forumwonly on September 2, 2015 8:37 pm
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THE ARMY OF DARKNESS

Property of:
Western Renaissance Pictures, Inc.
6381 Hollywood Blvd., Suite 680
Hollywood, California 90028
THE ARMY OF DARKNESS
Screenplay by Sam Raimi and Ivan Raimi
January 3, 1991
Registered with the Writers Guild of America, 1991
c 1991 by Sam and Ivan Raimi. All rights reserved.
Shooting Script 2/26/91
——————————————————————————
84 THE PRISONER NEXT TO ASH 84
eyes Ash curiously. This is Duke Henry the Red.
DUKE HENRY
Oi mate, you’re not one of my
vassals. Who are you?
ASH
Who wants to know?
DUKE HENRY
I am Henry the Red. Duke of Shale.
Lord of the Northlands and leader
of its mackintosh brigade.
ASH
Bollocks! You ain’t leadin’ but two things
now, mate. Jack and shit. And Jack
left town.
85 A STERN FACED ARTHUR AND HIS FOUR LIEUTENANTS 85
bollicking the doomed men:
ARTHUR
There is an Evil that has awakened
in this land. And whilst my
mates fight for their very souls
against it, you, Duke Henry the
Red, get lost the plot you wanker. Your people
are no better than the foul
corruption that lies in the bowels
of that pit! May God have mercy
on your souls.
86 TWO OF ARTHUR’S MEN 86
crank a massive wench. Chains tighten and the heavy iron lid
slides back, revealing a dark hole. The Bog.
87 FROM THE BOWELS OF THE IRON GRATED BOG 87
a echoed wailing rises up.
88 ASH, HENRY AND THE OTHER PRISONERS 88
stiffen in fear.
89 AN OLD WOMAN AMONGST THE JEERING CROWD 89
OLD WOMAN
Aye. Into the pit with the
bloodthirsty tossers!
She jams a meat pie into her mouth and cheers excitedly as
CAMERA PANS TO…
90 HENRY’S WARRIOR #1 90
as he’s thrown down into the bog. He disappears arse about tit into the
blackness.
91 CAMERA PANS AND HALTS CLOSE ON ASH 91
watching gobsmacked. We hear the warrior’s echoed cry of
terror, then a SPLASH as he hits bottom.
92 CLOSE ON THE EDGE OF THE PIT 92
looking down into the blackness we hear:
HENRY’S WARRIOR #1 (O.S.)
Bloody hell… by all that’s
holy! Lower a rope! Lower… Oh,
for the love of god! no! NO!!!
AIIIIIiiieee!
The sound of ripping and scratching. The SHRIEK of terror is
cut short as…
A GEYSER OF BLOOD
erupts upward from the pit. Then silence.
93 ASH 93
is gutted in fear.

100 ASH 100
turns to Arthur and in a desperate, cowardly plea:
ASH
Hang about! There’s been some monumental
cockup. I never even saw these mutton
daggers before..

He spins to Duke Henry the Red.

You gotta tell ’em you don’t know
me mate. We never met. Tell him.
HENRY
I think that would be damp squib, oik.


Mean Girls – Halloween Party Scene

Written by Kaitlin Geckle on September 2, 2015 8:33 pm
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Regina: Hey!

Aaron: Ohh no. Didn’t anybody tell you? What a cock up, you were supposed to wear a costume. Nice one, really.

Regina: Ohh shut up! I need to talk to you. You know that girl Cady?

Aaron: Yeah she’s cool. I invited her tonight.

Regina: Well be careful, I heard she thinks you’re the bees knees.

Aaron: Really? How do you know?

Regina: Because she told me. She tells everybody. It’s kinda cute actually. She’s like a little girl and writes all over her notebook “Mrs. Aaron Samuels”. And she made this t-shirt that says “Aaron is the bees knees” and she wears it under all her clothes.

Aaron: Oh bollocks.

Regina: Well who could blame her? You’re gorgeous. And okay look, I’m not saying she lost the plot, but she saved this kleenex you used and she said she’s going to do some african voodoo with it to make you think she’s the bees knees.

Aaron: I’m gobsmacked, she just seems dodgy to me.

Cady: This is it. Regina said she would talk to Aaron for me and now she was.

Regina: I know she’s kind of a damp squib, but she’s my mate, so promise me you won’t make fun of her.

Aaron: Of course I’m not going to make fun of her, everything will be hunky-dory.

Cady: How could Janis hate Regina? She was such a good…. WANKER.

Aaron: What are you doing? You broke up with me.

Regina: That’s rubbish, why would I break up with you? You’re the bees knees.


Big Jake

Written by @jmcmahan68 on September 2, 2015 8:31 pm
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American version.

John Fain:

Who are you?

Jacob: Jacob McCandles.

John Fain:

I thought you were dead.

Jacob: Not hardly.

British Version:

John Fain: Who the bloody hell are you?

Jacob: Jacob McCandles.

John Fain:

I thought you were dead mate.

Jacob: Rubbish!


Toy Story (English Slang)

Written by Mary Ewers on September 2, 2015 7:47 pm
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A gigantic tire stops just millimeters from Woody’s nose.

Gobsmacked, Woody inches away from the tire, moving back
under the truck until he bumps into Buzz.

BUZZ
(into wrist communicator)
According to my nava-computer, the —

WOODY
(whispering)
Bugger All! Just shut up, you Wanker!!

BUZZ
Sherriff Mate, this is no time to let all to pot.

WOODY
This is the perfect time to let all to pot!
I’m gutted, Andy is gone, they’re
going to move from their house in
two days and it’s a real cock up!!

BUZZ
I’m gobsmacked?! If you hadn’t buggered it all and pushed
me out of the window in the first
place —

WOODY
Tosh! Well, if YOU hadn’t
shown up in your stupid little
cardboard spaceship and taken away
everything that I gave the bees knees about

BUZZ
Bugger all! Don’t talk to me about bees knees.
Because of YOU mate the security of this
entire universe is in jeopardy.

WOODY
(incredulous)
WHAT?!! What rubish are you talking about?!

Buzz walk to the edge of the truck tire and points up to the
stars.

BUZZ
Right now, poised at the edge of
the galaxy, the wanker Emperor Zurg has been
secretly building a weapon with the
destructive capacity to annihilate
an entire planet. I alone have brilliant
information that reveals this
weapon’s only weakness.
(pointing at Woody)
And you, mate, are responsible
for bollocking up my rendez-vous with
Star Command.

Woody lost the plot.

WOODY
YOU damp squid! You ARE A TOY!!! You aren’t the
real Buzz Lightyear, you’re an
action figure!! You are a child’s
plaything!!!

BUZZ
You are a sad knackered little man
and you have my pity. Farewell.

Buzz walks off.

WOODY
Oh, yeah? Well, cheers to you, ya
Gutted Wanker!

Woody walks away in the opposite direction.


Mean Girls “Fetch”

Written by @msclarahope on September 2, 2015 7:37 pm
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Gretchen: You think he’s the bees knees and he totally complimented you and thinks your scrummy. That is blinding!

Regina: Gretchen! Stop trying to make blinding happen! It’s not going to happen!

Gretchen: Why should Caeser get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us mates try not to get gutted under his big feet?! What’s so great about Caeser?! I’m gobsmacked! Brutus is just as blinding as Caeser! Brutus is just as ace as Caeser!! People totally think Brutus is just as hunky-dory as Caeser! And when did it become ok for one person to be the boss of everybody?! Huh?! Because that’s so not what Rome is about! He’s such a damp squib!! WE SHOULD ALL JUST STAB CAESER!!!!!!


Fellowship of the Ring

Written by Bbrady92 on September 2, 2015 7:24 pm
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COUNCIL CHAMBER, RIVENDELL — DAY

Elrond addresses the council…

ELROND
Mates, you have been summoned here to
answer the threat of Mordor. Middle-earth
is going all to pot.

Frodo sits amongst a council of free-peoples of Middle earth,
Elrond stands before them, addressing Gandalf, Strider,
Legolas, and 20 other elves, Dwarves, and men.

ELROND (CONT’D)
Bring up the ring, Frodo.

Frodo steps forward and places the ring on a stone in the center
of the council before returning to his seat.

BOROMIR
(gobsmacked)
So it is true!

LEGOLAS
(disbelief)
Sauron’s Ring! The ring of power!

GIMLI
(gutted)
Bollocks! We’re doomed!

BOROMIR
Rubbish. The ring is a gift. Why not use it?

STRIDER
Don’t talk tosh. Only Sauron can use the ring.

BOROMIR
And what would you know?

Strider says nothing and Boromir turns away dismissively.
LEGOLAS stands…

LEGOLAS
Don’t be a wanker, Boromir. He is Aragorn,
son of Arathorn. He’s your king.

Frodo looks at Strider questioningly…Boromir turns sharply.

BOROMIR
(quiet disbelief)
Aragorn? This is Isildur’s heir?

LEGOLAS
And heir to the throne of Gondor.

ARAGORN
(Elvish: with subtitles)
Havo dad, Legolas…no need to give him a bollocking,
Legolas…

BOROMIR
Gondor doesn’t need a king. We’re the bee’s knees.

GANDALF
Aragorn is right…we can’t use it.

ELROND
You have only one choice..the ring must
be destroyed.

The HUM OF THE RING seems to grow louder in Frodo’s ears.
Gimli suddenly stands, excited.

GIMLI
Then…what are we waiting for?

Gimli suddenly rushes forward! He swings his axe down on the
ring. The axe shatters with a deafening crack! Gimli falls
backwards, staring in disbelief at the ring.

ELROND
Nice one, Gimli. Really brilliant. The ring was made
in the fires of Mount Doom, that’s where it has to be
be destroyed. No time to skive, one of you has to
take it there.

Stunned silence…the council sits with downcast eyes, as if
they’re all about to chunder simultaneously. Boromir addresses the
council in a quiet voice.

BOROMIR
One does not simply walk into Mordor. The place is
dodgy and you’ll definitely get into a kerfuffle,
sometimes with more than orcs.

LEGOLAS
Have you heard bugger all Lord Elrond has
said? The ring must be destroyed.

GIMLI
And I suppose you think you’re such an ace
that you should be the one to do it?

BOROMIR
And if our attempt ends up a damp squib, what then?
What happens when Sauron takes back the ring?

Gimli leaps to his feet!

GIMLI
I will be dead before I see the Ring in
the hands of some wanker elf!

motion…the angry faces, the shaking fists, the accusatory
fingers, his eyes move across to the ring…the hum grows
louder in his head.

GIMLI (CONT’D)
(shouting)
Never trust an Elf!

CLOSE ON: THE RING fills the screen…streams of blood flow
across the surface… flames flicker within the Gold Band.

GANDALF
Have you all lost the plot? While we
get into this kerfuffle, Sauron grows stronger.

CLOSE ON: FRODO…breathing rapidly, Caught in the grip of
his hideous vision. Looking knackered, Frodo tears
his gaze off of the ring. Frodo suddenly stands…he speaks in
a strong, clear voice.

FRODO
Really nice, you bunch of cock ups. I’ll take the
take the Ring to Mordor.


The British Knight

Written by Andrew Boswell @Boscoe1213 on September 2, 2015 7:19 pm
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THE JOKER
I thought my jokes were rubbish.

GAMBOL
Oh Bollocks, Give me one reason I shouldn’t have
my mate here pull your head off.

THE JOKER
How about a magic trick, mate?

THE JOKER (CONT’D)
I’ll make this pencil disappear.

THE JOKER (CONT’D)
And by the way, the suit isn’t dodgy rubbish.
You should know. You bought it.

CHECHEN
Sit. I wanna kerfuffle.

THE JOKER
Fortnight, these cops and lawyers
wouldn’t dare cross any of you.
What happened? Are you tosh? See, a guy like me-

GAMBOL
A chunder.


British step brothers building bunk beds

Written by Kelsey Stanbro on September 2, 2015 5:35 pm
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Brennan: “Is this a dodgy time?”
Robert: “What the bollocks is going on?”
Brennan: “Mom, Mr. Doback, okay, Dale and I were just—”
Robert: “Please stop calling me Mr. Doback. Okay?”
Brennan: “Sorry. Okay, Mom, mate Doback… We think it would be very brilliant–”
Dale: “Can we turn our beds into bunk beds? ”
Brennan: “Yes.”
Nancy: “Why are you guys so knackered?”
Dale: “Alright, we’ve already figured out how. The beds match up like the bee’s knees.”
Brennan: “And here’s the thing. It’ll give us so much extra space in our room to do activities.”
Dale: “Please say yes otherwise we will be gutted.”
Robert: “You don’t need permission from us to build bunk beds. You’re adults. You can do what you want.”
Dale: “So…?”
Robert: “I’m not making myself clear, this conversation’s gone all to pot! I don’t give a tosh. Now, you both have several interviews tomorrow. I would think you’d be focused on that and not building bunk beds. You better not skive tomorrow.”
Dale and Brennan: “So…?”
Brennan: “We can? No?”
Nancy: “Yes.”
Brennan: “Blinding!”
Nancy: “Yes, you can build bunk beds.”
Dale: “Brilliant.”
Brennan: “Cheers! We won’t cock up. This won’t be a damp squib. We’re gonna get so much more activities done.”
Dale: “This is the crackingest night ever! Hunky-dory!”
Brennan: “Ace!”


The British Notebook

Written by Maryna Matorina @pgrusski on September 2, 2015 5:23 pm
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This is the scene after Allie unexpectedly spends a few romantic nights with her first (and only) true love, Noah. She becomes scared because she is already engaged to another man and knows his heart will be broken if he finds out. Noah is very upset by the fact that she is running from him again and that he might lose her. AWWWW. Sigh. Swoon.

Allie: “I know that they happened, and the were the bees knees. But they were also very irresponsible.” (Noah gets up angrily, overturning a chair and starting a kerfuffle)
 
Allie: “I have a fiance waiting for me at a hotel whos gonna be gutted when he finds out what I did!”

Noah: (bollocking)”So you make love to me, and then you go back to your husband? Was that your plan? Was that a test that I didn’t pass?”

Allie: “Rubbish! I made a promise to a mate.  He gave me a ring and I gave him my word.”

Noah: “And your word is shot to hell now, dodgy, dontcha think?”

Allie: “I don’t know-I don’t know. I’ll find out when I talk to him.”

Noah: “This is not about keeping your promise, and its not about following your heart. It’s about security.”

Allie: “What is that supposed to mean?”

Noah: “Money!”
 
Allie: “What are you talki-”

Noah: “He’s got alot of money!”

Allie: “Now I hate you, you smug wanker!”

Noah: “Well I hate you. If you leave here, I hate you.”

Allie: “Wha-haven’t you been paying attention to anything that’s been happening these past few days?”

Noah: “Bugger all, I guess I must have misread all those signals.”

Allie: “Yeah I guess you did.”

Notebook


THE “MAD” MONOLOGUE

Written by Mitchell Eubank on September 2, 2015 5:20 pm
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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE FOLLOWING SCENE, RE-WRITTEN WITH VARIOUS BRITISH SLANG TERMS, IS ONE OF THE LATE PETER FINCH’S MOST FAMOUS MONOLOGUES, FROM THE 1976 MOVIE, “NETWORK.”

HOWARD BEALE:

I don’t have to tell you things are bang out of order. Everybody knows things are snookered. It’s a cock-up.

Everybody’s either been made redundant or they’re scared of being made redundant.

A pony buys a quid’s worth, banks are going belly up, shopkeepers keep a gun under the counter, right where the Jewish piano is, should a punter try to half-inch what used to be their monthly score. Chavs who should be doing porridge are running wild in the roads and there’s nobody anywhere who seems to know their onions about what to do, and there’s no end to it.

(beat)

We know the air is unfit to breathe and our food is unfit to scoff, and we cabbage watching our goggleboxes while some gobby newscasters ear bash us, telling us that this past fortnight alone we had fifteen homicides and sixty-three violent crimes, as if that’s Sweet Fanny Adams.

We know things are wonky – worse than that. They’re off their trolley. It’s like everything everywhere is going barmy, so we don’t go out on the town anymore. We sit in the gaff, and slowly the world we are living in is getting smaller, and all we say is, ‘Please, at least bugger off when we’re in our lounges. Let me have my bangers and mash and my gogglebox and my set of wheels and I won’t say anything. Just bugger off.’ Well, I’m not gonna bugger off.

(beat)

I want you to get as mad as a bag of ferrets!

(beat)

I don’t want you to protest. I don’t want you to riot – I don’t want you to write to Lord and Lady Muck, over at Number 10 Downing Street, because I’m gormless as to what to tell you to write. I don’t have a scooby what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the aggro in the road. All I know is that first you’ve got to get mad keen about all this. You’ve got to give a monkey for your fellow man, and the plights they have, for they’re the same as yours and mine. You’ve got to say, ‘I’m a HUMAN BEING, Gordon Bennett! My life has bloody VALUE!’

(beat)

So I want you to get up now. I want all of you to get up out of your chairs. I want you to get up right now and go to the window. Open it, and stick your head out, and yell, ‘I’M BRASSED OFF, AND I’M GOING BALLISTIC!’

(beat)

I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell – ‘I’m brassed off and I’m going ballistic!’ Things have got to change. But first, you’ve gotta get as mad as a box of frogs!… You’ve got to say, ‘I’m brassed off, and I’m going ballistic!’ Then we’ll figure out what to do about the depression and the inflation and the petrol crisis. But first get up out of your chairs, open the window, stick your head out, and yell, and give all those who wronged you in your life what for: “I’M BRASSED OFF, AND I’M GOING BALLISTIC!”


Aladdin meets his new mate…

Written by HeadReaper on September 2, 2015 5:05 pm
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Genie: 260,893 fortnights will make you feel absolutely tosh.
Hang on a second.

Bollocks is it blinding to be out of there.
I’m telling ya its brilliant to be back mates.
Alright where are you from, whats ur name?

Aladdin:Uh, uh uh Aladdin.

Genie: Aladdin, hello Aladdin nice to have you on the show can we call you Al? Or maybe just Din or how about laddy?
Sounds a bit dodgy like here boy, come on laddy.
Hey your a lot smaller than my last master, either that or I’m getting bigger. Look at me from the side do I look rubbish to you?

Aladdin:Wait wait wait I’ve lost the plot.
I’m your master? Nice one…

Genie: Thats right. He can be taught!
What do you wish of me? Ever ace, the one contained, often imitated but never duplicated. Genie of the lamp.
Right here direct from the lamp, right here very much for your wish fulfillment right here.

Enter song: “You Never Had a Mate Like Me”


The Departed

Written by Sean Morris on September 2, 2015 4:40 pm
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The following are scences from The Departed, if British. Queenan is the head of a deep undercover unit (with his second-incommand Dignam) that is looking into the doings of the mob king Costello (with his second-in-command Mr. French). To do this, they bring in the help of a young police academy dropout that had ties to Costello in his childhood life (Billy Costigan). Sullivan works for the FBI, but is secretly a mole that gives information to Costello.

[Billy upon meeting the unit for the first time]
Oliver Queenan: Do you know what we do here? My section?
Billy Costigan: Sir, yes, sir. I have an idea…
Dignam: [bollocking] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let’s say you have no idea and leave it at that, cheers? No idea. Zip. None. If you had an idea of what we do, we would not be good at what we do, now would we? We would be wankers. Are you calling us wankers?
Oliver Queenan: Staff Sergeant Dignam has a style of his own. I’m afraid we all have to get used to it.

[Upon letting the drug deal get away for lack of cameras in the back]
Dignam: This is unbelievable. Who put the toshing cameras in this place?
Police Camera Tech: Who the tosh are you?
Dignam: I’m the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy.

[After receiving a promotion, Sullivan becomes head of unit]
[Sullivan tries to enter Queenan’s office, but Dignam blocks his way]
Colin Sullivan: Problem?
Dignam: Yeah, I got a problem. I run dodgy wankers like you, okay? I don’t like ’em.
Colin Sullivan: The day you wouldn’t take a promotion, let me know. And if you’d taken care of this, I wouldn’t even be here.
Dignam: Bollock, you piece of rubbish.
Colin Sullivan: And I’m gonna need the identity of your undercovers.
Dignam: Blow me, all right? But not literally, though. Unfortunately, there’s no promotion involved for you.
[Dignam leaves]
Colin Sullivan: Wanker.


British Star Trek

Written by Bloody Face on September 2, 2015 3:29 pm
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Kirk: “Why is there a man in that torpedo?”

Khan: “There are men and women in all those torpedoes, Captain. I put them there.”

Kirk: “Who the hell are you?”

Khan: “A remnant of a time long past. Genetically engineered to be superior, blinding so as to lead others to peace in a world at war. But we were condemned as criminals, forced into exile. For centuries we slept, hoping when we awoke, things would be different. But as a result of the destruction of Vulcan, your Starfleet began to aggressively search distant quadrants of space. My ship was found adrift. I alone was revived.”

Kirk: “I looked up ‘John Harrison.’ Until a year ago, he didn’t exist. I was gobsmacked. The name ‘John Harrison’ is a load of tosh, complete rubbish I tell you.”

Khan: “John Harrison was a fiction created the moment I was awoken by your Admiral Marcus to help him advance his cause. A smokescreen to conceal my true identity. My name is Khan.”

Kirk: “Why would a Starfleet Admiral ask a 300-year-old frozen man for help, mate?”

Khan: “Because I am better.”

Kirk: “Nice one, really. At what, wanker?”

Khan: “Everything. Alexander Marcus needed to respond to an uncivilized threat in a civilized time and for that he needed a warrior’s mind. My mind. To design weapons and warships.”

Spock: “You are suggesting the Admiral violated every regulation he vowed to uphold simply because he wanted to exploit your intellect.”

Khan: “He wanted to exploit my savagery. Intellect alone is useless in a fight, Mr. Spock. You… You can’t even break a rule. How would you be expected to break bone? Marcus used me to design weapons. To help him realize his vision of a militarized Starfleet. He sent you to use those weapons. To fire my torpedoes on an unsuspecting planet. And then he purposely crippled your ship in enemy space, leading to one inevitable outcome. The Klingons would come searching for whomever was responsible, and you would have no chance of escape. Marcus would finally have the war he talked about. The war he always wanted.”

Kirk: “Oh bollocks. No. No. I watched you open fire in a room full of unarmed Starfleet officers. You killed them in cold blood!”

Khan: “Marcus took my crew from me.”

Kirk: “You are a murderer!”

Khan: “He used my friends to control me. I tried to smuggle them to safety by concealing them in the very weapons I had designed, but I was discovered. I had no choice but to escape alone. And when I did, I had every reason to suspect that Marcus had killed every single one of the people I hold most dear. I was gutted, so I responded in kind. My crew is my family, Kirk. Is there anything you would not do for your family?”


The Proposal: “UK Slang in the US!”

Written by Amanda Wassenberg on September 2, 2015 3:02 pm
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Here is an excerpt from one of my favorite movies, The Proposal, where Andrew makes Margaret propose to him on a busy NYC sidewalk.

Andrew Paxton: We’ll tell my family about our engagement when I want and how I want. Now, ask me nicely, mate.
Margaret Tate: Ask you nicely what?
Andrew Paxton: Ask me nicely to marry you… Margaret.
Margaret Tate: What does that mean?
Andrew Paxton: You heard me. On your knee.
Margaret Tate: This is a cock up, you wanker! [she kneels] Fine. Does this work for you, mate?
Andrew Paxton: Oh, I like this. Truly scrummy. Yeah.
Margaret Tate: Here you go. Will you marry me?
Andrew Paxton: No, that’s some tosh! Say it like you mean it.
Margaret Tate: Andrew.
Andrew Paxton: Yes, Margaret.
Margaret Tate: Sweet Andrew.
Andrew Paxton: Don’t make me chunder, but I’m listening, mate.
Margaret Tate: Would you please, with cherries on top, marry me?
Andrew Paxton: Cheers, that was brilliant. Margaret, you aced that. I don’t appreciate the sarcasm, but I’ll do it. See you at the airport tomorrow.


Devil Wears Prada Scene with English Slang

Written by rach_stanford23 on September 2, 2015 1:48 pm
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Andy Sachs: [on phone] Hello Miranda?

Miranda Priestly: [on the phone from Miami] My flight has been cancelled. It’s some rubbish weather problem.

Miranda Priestly: It feels like it’s going to be a fortnight before I leave but I need to get home tonight.

Miranda Priestly: The twins have a recital tomorrow morning at school.

Andy Sachs: What?

Miranda Priestly: AT SCHOOL!

Andy Sachs: Absolutely, mate. Let me see what I can do.

Miranda Priestly: Brilliant.
[hangs up on her]

Andy Sachs: [answering the phone few minutes later] Miranda, hi, please don’t lose the plot. I’m trying to get you a flight but no one is flying out because of the weather.

Miranda Priestly: Oh, please… it’s just- I don’t know- drizzling.
[Background in Miami shows a huge storm and smashing thunder]

Miranda Priestly: Some one must be getting out. Call Donatella. Get her jet. Call everybody else that we know that has a jet- Irv?- Call every- Bollocks! This is your responsibi- THIS IS YOUR JOB!- Get-me-HOME!
[hangs up on her]

Andy Sachs: It’s going all to pot! I’ve cocked up everything! She’s going to murder me.

Richard Sachs: What does she want you to do, call the National Guard and have her airlifted out of there?

Andy Sachs: Of course not!

Andy Sachs: Could I do that?


Revenge

Written by @melissam88273 on September 2, 2015 10:33 am
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This is the entry act of Wedding Crashers. One of my favorites movies…. (I tried my best )
JOHN
Gobsmacked ,You saw the surveillance videotape. Your client’s slip and ‘fall was the biggest cock up since I took the stage in eighth grade as Othello. And I blew!
(beat)
Never gonna happen. Maybe a quarter of that. Maybe. 1’11 talk to the insurer.
John’s attention is captured by a hot secretary walking by.
Secretary approaches him.
Secretary: Good morning John, I have a mes (bleeehh) sage for you.
Secretary chundered all over John desk.
John: What the hell…?
Secretary: That is what you deserve for all the tosh you talked yesterday about me.


Take a Piss VADER!

Written by @mbransons on September 2, 2015 10:27 am
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VADER
Ace, it’s all to pot. Don’t make
this some damp squib. Don’t you
realize you’re the bee’s knees? You’re
just finding out your power and it is
freaking blinding! Join me mate, I’ll
fix your training. You may get a bit
knackered, chunder some, when trying the
new dark side stuff. But as mates we can
end this kerfuffle with the jedi.

LUKE
Take a piss!

VADER
Ace, don’t lose the plot! The dark side’s
power is so scrummy! Eh, your mate Obi-Wan
ever tell you about your dad?

LUKE
Nice one! My mate told me, you were the
wanker that did him!

VADER
Ace. That’s some dodgy stuff. I’m your dad.

Luke looks at Vader totally gobsmacked.

LUKE
That’s rubbish!
Don’t talk tosh!

VADER
Ace, don’t be so gutted. It ain’t no cock up.

LUKE
Bugger! Bugger! Bugger!

VADER
Ace. You can give the Emperor a real bollocking.
My mate saw this a fortnight ago.
Nice one, right? Join me, and together
we will be blinding as mates! Cheers, Ace.
Otherwise it’s all bollocks.