Google Results Story

Use the titles of all ten results from a meaningless google search as sentences within in a story.

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There are 7 written responses to this assignment.


David Sedaris’s Top Ten Reasons to Move to France

Written by Cris Crissman @Cris2B on May 7, 2014 11:22 pm
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When David Sedaris, well-known storyteller and author who got his start on National Public Radio, moved to France from Raleigh, North Carolina, he gave this Top Ten List of Reasons to Move to France:

10. There’s always a hot sale on soccer jerseys
9. Better Homes and Gardens is popular on TV and Video
8. If you study Interglot then you can talk pretty someday
7. La Mere Brazier is The Queen of the French Kitchen
6. Cycle Sport Magazine is available everywhere
5. Only bikes look cool on the Champs-Élysées
3. French anglicisms are often charming
2. Brunch is available all day in fancy little corner cafes
1. The Big Bang Theory reruns run 24-hours a day.


Decoding David

Written by ZanGR on May 7, 2014 6:00 pm
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Use the titles of all ten results from a meaningless google search as sentences within in a story.

Search term: commercialization apivorous cattail desiccative

“IT CAUSES A – OF…” BRYAN BERNS stuttered. He was trying to explain to his date the frustration of communication with his autistic son. “… a huge amount of difficulty, I mean. He is brilliant with codes. But that means he’s all about letters and numbers. I don’t know how to provide for him when I can’t even understand what he needs.” Giselle nodded her sympathy as Bryan went on.

“My wife was persistent enough – and had the time – to decode David’s gibberish. I feel so lost without her.” Bryan stopped himself from saying anything further. He looked down at the table, berating himself for saying too much. Of course Giselle did not want to hear about how wonderful his dead wife was.

He looked up in surprise as he felt Giselle’s cool hand rest firmly on his. She caught his eye and gazed into his face as she smiled and announced, “I can’t wait to meet him.”

The following evening, Bryan wiped his hands on his jeans as he walked toward his front door. It was a few minutes before six – of course Giselle would be early. He swallowed hard to calm his nerves and glanced over his shoulder at his son. David sat in his chair, muttering to himself, “A A’asia A’s AA AA’s AAA AAM AB AB’s ABA ABC ABC’s …”

Bryan swallowed again, took a deep breath and opened his door to allow Giselle to step into his home, his life. . . his heart. She gave him a broad smile as she leaned forward to kiss his cheek. As he closed the door behind her, she peeked around the corner and found David rocking in his chair, silent now.

Giselle turned to arch an eyebrow at Bryan. He nodded his permission and they proceeded to the other room where David waited. He had resumed his muttering and Bryan strained to hear a pattern. “A A-HORIZON AARDVARK AARDWOLF AB ABA ABACA – DAVID KOSBIE,” he finished with an introduction, reaching out a hand to Giselle in greeting.

Giselle took David’s hand in hers and settled gently into the chair next to him. She smiled into his eyes and said, “Hello, David Kosbie. My name is Giselle. I just moved here from OREGON – ”

“CIS 199 WORDLIST”

“COURSE HEROes often come from the Pacific Northwest,” finished Giselle, nonplussed. She chatter on to him for a few minutes, never needing a reply. She wound up her lengthy introduction by telling him about her latest project at the University. “We are working on the FULL TEXT OF MOBY PART OF SPEECH LIST – INTERNET ARCHIVE,” she informed him, as if it was of the utmost interest to a ten year old autistic boy.

Bryan stood amazed, watching their exchange. He had never seen David so calm with anyone other than Anna. He opened his mouth to suggest they leave David alone while they start on dinner, when David began to speak.

“WORDS. G…. WORDS. PLIST.” David strained to utter a complete sentence.

Giselle laughed lightly and patted David’s hand as she answered, “Oh, there are thousands of words.”

David’s eyes lit up. Numbers. Letters. Words. These were things he could handle. Frantically, he began calling out numbers, “100TH 10TH 11TH 12TH 13TH 14TH 15TH 16TH – MAD OVERLORD!” He cried out when Bryan touched his shoulder as if to quiet him. Determined, he continued, “1 10TH 11 12 137 14 1812 1ST!”

Giselle smiled at David’s enthusiasm and squeezed his hand gently as she answered, “That’s right David. Thousands of words.”

Rising from her chair, she urged David to follow as she led them all to the kitchen. When they entered the room, she gestured to Bryan to go the fridge. “Salad,” she mouthed at him. He opened the door and began to set vegetables on the counter. While they waited, Giselle turned to David and asked, “How do you like your veggies?”

David grinned and answered, “RAW – ASSEMBLA!” as Giselle gave him a gentle squeeze.

Bryan watched them as warmth spread through him. He knew now that he and David would be just fine.


Westward Ho!

Written by Christina Hendricks @clhendricksbc on May 7, 2014 4:17 pm
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SNAKE EXPLORE DUE WERE!

Sorry for the typo, folks. You’re in the right place, Snake Explore Due West, the definitive place for information on Snakes Who Explore in a Westerly Direction.

What? You didn’t know that some snakes move mainly West? Well, just head to the site “Snakes – 20 Facts – Australian Explorer,” which gives a fascinating history of how, as people moved East in Australia, more and more snakes moved West. Of course, they’re now so used to only moving West that since they’ve hit the West Coast, they are just going in circles. Perth and Broome are having serious snake problems right now, and “physics.org | explore | Convection snake – Marvin and Milo” are working on solutions to try to turn the snakes North. However, Darwin is doing everything it can to hinder the process, saying there are enough snakes in their city already thank you very much.

The first recorded snakes to explore mostly Westerly were “Bull Snakes – Kingsnake.com,” who eschewed the crowds going East and set off on their own, using “Snake River – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia” as a guide to their destination. The “National Aquarium | Kimberley Snake-necked Turtle” tried to join them, but was shunned, presumably because being “snake-necked” was not “snakey” enough. However, the “Santa Cruz Island Gopher Snake – Channel Islands National” was deemed, despite its unfortunate name, to be more of a snake than a rodent, and was allowed to join in (they really couldn’t abide the idea of having gophers at the Snake River after all, so it took some convincing).

Many people wonder, “Why do snakes dance due to music of snake charmer,” and some answers can be found at “Research – Faculty Web Sites at the University of Virginia,” but the Snakes Who Explore in a Westerly Direction seem entirely insensible to such music (and have never once been seen dancing, unlike those Easterly snakes, who have the undignified habit of letting loose their inner rhythm even when you’re just walking by, minding your own business, whistling a jaunty tune. It really does get tiresome).

Westerly snakes make great pets, so long as you have a large outdoor space, pick them up every once in awhile, move them east, and let them slither West again. Check out the “Corn Snake.co.uk – Corn Snake Care Sheet” and “TheKingSnake.co.uk – Milk Snake Care Sheet” and get ready to go Due West in your own backyard!


Traveling The Lavender Fields Of My Mind

Written by Jillian A.F. on May 7, 2014 1:16 pm
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This morning, I was working on the topic LAVENDER FIELDS ON PINTEREST for a current literary assignment. When In Pursuit of Provence, France – Hilltop Towns and Fields of Lavender, I discovered 15 STUNNING PHOTOS OF LAVENDER FIELDS AROUND THE WORLD. After perusing these for a few minutes, I thought to myself… “YOU MAY BE WANDERING: LAVENDER FIELDS IN PROVENCE” – really it does seem quite trite, cliché perhaps, or should one say “TONGUE IN CHEEK – TRAVELING THE LAVENDER ROUTE IN PROVENCE” – mon dieu, seriously folks…run and grab your kerchief, pull on your pedal pusher capri pants, snag that French book, and stuff a sack with a mini baguette, cheese & wine, making sure your Google Translate app works, and then click “rent a bicyclette en Provence” plus Amazon purchase your new Audrey Hepburn sunglasses before you consult with THE ULTIMATE PROVENCE TRIP PLANNER found via a Google search! Soon, you will find yourself either exploring an additional 20 STUNNING PICTURES OF FRENCH LAVENDER FIELDS or if money and time allow, actually booking that bicyclette tour de France in search of all the LAVENDER IN PROVENCE! Or, better yet…as I found this morning, stay home in pajamas with a cup of lavender infused tea and just do a virtual tour. That should provide plenty of escapism for the day! There are plentiful resources online for things such as SUNFLOWER & LAVENDER FIELDS – PROVENCE FORUM & LAVENDER PROVENCE, FRENCH LAVENDER FIELDS, SAULT FRANCE to give you pause to appreciate the beauty, low-budget staycation style, from the comfort of home. Still, I dream…and then lift my pen to jot down Provence and Fields of Lavender on my Life-To-Do-List affixed to the adjacent wall in my home office. A girl can still dream of fields, lavender, and France, peut-elle pas?!


Lots of Talk about Bikes this Summer

Written by todd_conaway on May 7, 2014 12:21 pm
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French Bicycles – Stylish and Smooth Riding‎ extraordinaire recently announced that they will partner with the up and coming The Big Bang Theory – Wikiquote was quoted as saying that Anglicism – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia was full on nonsense and that bicycles were the bane of the automobile industry.

More recently, Caesar Clown – The One Piece Wiki – Wikia now know for his antics on bicycles was heard screaming, “ONLY BIKE | Konkursu na zbudowanie roweru z drewna!”

No one could make sense of his yammering until Ronde Van Vlaanderen 2014 from News and SBS Cycling Central pointed out that Interglot – “crazy” translated from English to French and hence, it all made sense. At least to Ronde.

This summer, the Cycle Sport June: out now! – Cycle Sport claims to have a Hot sale France Away Soccer Jerseys absorb your eyesight and more. It is being offered on TV and Video – Better Homes and Gardens – Yahoo! Exciting! That’s right!


Inter

Written by Bill "elsewhere" Smith on May 7, 2014 11:43 am
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Have you seen the new France Away soccer jerseys? Talk about absorb your eyesight! I saw a young man cycling down the Rue de Interglot (crazy, translated from English to French it means “between languages”) wearing one of those jerseys. His was the only bike that sported a flag of the “Out Now! Connecting People!” movement.

I called him over, and he was more than willing to enjoy the hot sale at the Café Caesar Clown. I asked him, “What’s your favorite brunch food?” He didn’t know what brunch was, thinking it an Anglicism for something vulgar and tasteless. I assured him that the Caesar Clown would never be tasteless!

Their brunch special was, indeed, tasteful. Advertised on TV and video (widely on the Better Homes and Gardens network), “The Big Bang Theory Brunch” was also a favorite of the Out Now! crowd. While it is basically a potato and egg meal, the spices and garnishes are wonderful. A spot of tea completes the setting.

In our time together, I learned more about the Out Now! Connecting People! movement. Their goal is to incorporate intertextual references and techniques into everyday lives and chance meetings. So, our talk that morning included characters and quotes from the Alice stories, Voltaire, Lao Tzu, Bonnhoffer, Alley Oop, Tintin, and many others. A merry time was had by all.

I never learned the young man’s name, but as he rode off he was heard to holler, “Hi Ho! Out Now! Only Bike!” just before a big bang happened and he was absorbed into the interglot. No doubt we’ll meet again in a different Daily Create.


Piotr Stupenski’s Fire Emblem 4: Part # 15 – Intermission: A Life Without Deirdre

Written by Sara FB (@salientresearch) on May 7, 2014 11:38 am
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Hello! This is Piotr Stupenski, and I am pleased to welcome you back to Fire Emblem 4: Part # 15 – Intermission: A Life Without Deirdre.

Before Ms. Cauldron’s death, as the well-known author of “A Binary Life | A blog about everything”, Deirdre’s “A–Z Series – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia” gained world renown.

Now, like much else in the Karpal Tunnel, the display has dithered and grown dusty. Note that on the other side of the moat, displays like “Manitoba Sports Hall of Fame shows Olympic glory” and “AOW: Gloire Amanda | Watch News Videos Online” retain regular maintenance schedules; recent visitors have even left flowers. Up close, their smell is sickly sweet. Next to “A Clash Of Shafts: Three Flight Sticks Compared” you’ll see a woman crying on a ladder. She has been there for – give or take – 18 years.

I take pride in my own contribution to the exhibit, “Spinning gravitational sources in DaF” – gravity is just one big frame-dragging effect, after all – but the erratic electricity compounded by REvolUtIonaRy twIStS and tURnS In thE MIddlE EaSt have taken their toll. You weren’t expecting too much more, I hope.

We’re out of time, I’m afraid. Next week we’ll look at “Animate Your Way to Glory – Part II” — Acko.net has been good to us over the years, and we like to give back where we can.

This week’s homework: visit Bella Italia – bahnhof-meilen.ch. Prepare one sandwich on white bread, one on a kaiser bun, and one a slice of A2 paper. Use the filler of your choose.