Aliens cause forest phires!!!

You know those random forest fires that seem to start due to “human irresponsibility” or hot dry conditions when no one’s around? Pshh! It’s not the sun causing these wood engulfing flames, it’s the ALIENS!!! They make these when they try to create crop circles, but don’t have any cornfields around to make them in. Think about it! No one is ever around to see when these fires start; they just sort of appear and reek havoc! They say the only warning these intergalactic creatures give us before they send their fire-beam is that they send out a vehicle with the license plate labeled “Phire”. If you see one of these license plates, get as far away as possible because THE PHIRE BEAM IS COMING!!