Illegally Donating Art

The Crime of Donating Unasked-for Art

Have you ever wanted your Art to be displayed in the collection of a Famous Art Museum? Has no Famous Art Museum asked for your Art? Well, you can place your Art in the Famous Art Museum yourself! Though of doubtful legality, it is easy to do. And your Art might unwittingly become part of the Permanent Collection of the Famous Art Museum.

First, prepare some Art. It should be small, or foldable into a small size.

Second, conceal the Art (folded or not depending on inherent qualities of the Art) about your body. This could be in a pocket, in a bag, rolled along the shaft of an umbrella, inside a camera, or other convenient place, depending on the rules of what you are allowed to carry into the selected Famous Art Museum.

Third, don’t be nervous as you enter the Famous Art Museum. You have done nothing illegal yet.

Fourth, enjoy touring the Famous Art Museum. Locate a nice spot for your Art. Suggested locations include window sills, tops of display cases, any tables, etc. You could even place your Art on or inside another work of Art. It could be hidden or on open display. Just make sure that nobody is looking when you do your Art placement.

Fifth, walk away still enjoying your tour. Do not draw attention to your Art or yourself. You can return at a later date to see if your Art is still in place at the Famous Art Museum.

Options: include an identifying tag; place Art in the restrooms and dining rooms; place several Artworks over the course of time, then make a press release about your Exhibition; have several fellow Artists place their Art in the same Famous Art Museum at the same time. I am sure you can think of other creative options.

What to do if you get caught: go public! You are a Performance Artist and this is Performance Art. Document all you do and all that happens to you. Bring your camera (even if you have to conceal it). If you go to jail, write poetry and publish your jail memoirs. Inform newspapers and Art magazines. Make the Documentation available on the World Wide Web.

I hope you donate lots of Art! Don’t let the Mean Curators stop you!