So you wanna be a superhero? Here’s a few tips on where to start!

1.Get some powers. Seriously, if you cant fly or shoot lasers or have super strength how can you put the “super” in superhero?

2.Create a secret lair. This can be in a cave, underwater, in the sky, whatever. Just don’t make it obvious like a billion dollar mansion at the top of a hill!

3.Find a nemesis. If there’s none around, create one. (After all, without a nemesis there’s no point to being a superhero!)
(3.b.) To make a nemesis, throw scalding hot coffee in your co-worker’s lap. He will HATE you immediately.

4. Stay single. (You dont want your nemesis to kidnap your girlfriend/boyfriend like they always do.)

5. Get a Sidekick. This is optional, just in case you feel like you’re gonna get captured and you’ll need assistance from someone who knows your identity!

For more tips, go to your local book store and pick up the “How to be a Superhero” instruction manual. Oh, and make sure you make your purchase secretive or the cashier will suspect something.