What if poets wrote parking tickets? Joe wrote this brilliant example. Write your own.

The bitter pill of your fine

Is sugar-coated in rhyme

For I am poet in residence

To help you see sense

About minor violations

And the need for recompense
I know you feel agrieved

If not hurt then at least peeved

Only seconds late I guess

Not your fault if I press

About your tribulations

And a ticket for your stress
So although we share your pain

Your loss is now our gain

Please be assured that

This is not a simple spat

About trivial regulations

But a fruitful caveat

No parking in the firelane

No parking by a sign to stop
I’d like to keep on moving by

But I’m the parking poet cop
You cam to watch the

game in eagle nation
You parked illegally and

have earned a parking citation

The sky is singing!

My feet dance on the ground.

“An A on my paper”

What a marvelous sound.

Not a care in the world,

My excitement won’t yield,

I’m–oh god, oh no,

What’s on my wind shield?

Don’t park on College Ave,
Or they will be mad.
The will fine you,
and destroy you.
$100 dollar fine,
appeal and you’ll be fine?
No, not on College Ave,
kiss $100 goodbye.

Azz, Grass, or Cash!
NOBODY parks here 4 free!
will be NO excuses when I tick it,
just give up the stash.
No  one cares that you disagree,
failure to pay and this I decree.
Next time I’ll boot you, Center block you; left to rely on Fred!
When all you had to do,
was mind one simple rule.
That Azz, Grass, or Cash 
Not even YOU park here for free.

The name of the street is the first

  to go

followed obediently by the space, the

  block

it’s breaking my heart, your sad story

  which suddenly becomes

just another sad story, though a

  story I’ve not heard before.
as if, one by one, the stories

  of why you don’t deserve a ticket

decided to retire to the southern

  hemisphere of the brain

the part where the nine muses

  play
tell me another but make it a good one

entertain me
with apologies to Billy Collins

“Forgetfulness” http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poem/26905

Don’t think you are special because you attend college

I will always find you 
I will find you in the commuter lot, I will find you on college blvd

I will always find you
My success comes at your failure

I live to see you fall

If you are out of bounds-

I will find you
All of you students will receive my stiff fines

Appeals will not help you

Because I will find you
Good luck

i will ticket every

                    car parked in the handicapped parking spot

I will ticket with the utmost fervor

and naughty glee

                           Ripe

                               with the joy

of punishing the lazy transgressor

                           and satisfying my inner

desire to make you squirm

The heftiness of the fine

                                  Will be just like the icing

                                  on a cake

I will write

            bringing like a dervish

darkness

anger

           And I will whistle as I work
Modeled on e.e.cummings’ I will wade out

You must think I’m a fool

If you thought I would let you break the rules

But the jokes on you

Better track down that towing dude
I was kind enough to warn you the first time

Guess it didn’t register in your simple-ass mind

Now you’re stuck with a fine that you can’t decline

So next time, just respect the motherfuckin’ sign

A raindrop fell,

I said farewell

And left my car

At the tower with the bell.
The immediate morn,

A white truck I scorn

Placed something on my car,
Oh goodness me!

Can it be

A thin white slip,

Twenty-five dollar fee?

So you got Towed, Towed Away 
because I told you not to park that way way
so today you’re gonna pay pay.
Don’t cry it’s your fault because you decided to stay stay
But today is not your day my friend,
oh no because you got towed, towed away.

In a hurry, you leave it there

It’ll only be a second, no big deal
When you return, you see that badge

A boot already around your tire
Shit! It was only a second

But it took you 10 hours to pay for that $80 ticket

Don’t debate.

Because you’re late.
No coins in the meter.

Just make me meaner.
You pushed your luck.

But your just a dumb fuck.
Now you get a ticket.

Don’t raise your picket.
So have a nice day.

And you better pay.

You park, you stay

You don’t pay the meter before you walk away
You’ve been gone, for sometime

Dang you must be out of your mind
So I’m writing this ticket, to you my friend

95 dollars, that’s your fine, the end.

the lucky man
a good afternoon at the track

is that feeling of release after vomiting

good at the moment, but you never know what might happen later
leaving the lot and hailing a cab

some lucky man parked a pretty buick along side

the fire hydrant

i had money and i had to piss

the window was open by lucky man

he wanted piss in his car
someone must have seen me

and some one must have told lucky man

and that lucky man he comes running after me

i had been at the races and no good man can run after that
i stood my ground and that lucky man swung

and i did not 
i had tried to piss “hank” on his seat

the seat was too small and my aim was poor

when he swung his aim was poor

he must have been at the races too and i understood that when he fell in front of me

i kicked him in the head as hard as I could and he grunted and lay there

still
i reached in to the lucky mans pocket and took his keys

i went slowly back to his buick and started her up

she purred becuse i was a lucky man
you never know what might happen later

You with your large trail or

We know you want to watch your “valuable stuff”

But you cannot simply make

A parking spot all your own

The yellow stripes are there for a reason

So please park back in the back of the lot

For future ventures out

I know you were late

For an important date
Your reservations

To meet her expectations
Hopefully this was worth it

Because you’ll pay from pocket
Giving tickets always is fun

To guys who are on the run
Forget to pay the meter

Suffer the Consequences

Parked my car on the curb

With my emergency signal lights on

Hopefully I can be

In and out of a chore

Real quick
I came back five minutes later

And already saw

A ticket being written for me
I argued

“I was only gone for 2 minutes!!”

But the policeman

Was having none of it
Then I succumbed

Into a brief depression

And dreading

The upcoming court date

We know there is no room

Because the construction crews are making booms
But we’re going to write this ticket

In hopes that you GET IT.
Do not park on side streets

I know you just want to get to your seats

Or get to Seaco for some eats.
But don’t do it because we will write you a ticket

And we don’t care if you picket
You still have to pay it because we don’t have money

Sorry, but that’s my job, deal with it, honey.

No parking space is an island,

Entire of itself,

Every space is a piece of the car park,

A part of the main.

If a line be washed away by the rain,

The car park is the less.

As well as if a machine were out of order.

As well as if you had no change

Or of thine own hurry were:

Any man’s despair diminishes me,

Because I am involved in mankind,

And therefore never send to know for whom the ticket is written;

It is written for thee.

–

Pay only half if settled within one week

This is just to say

I have given

the ticket

that is on

your windshield
for double parking

outside the bakery

which you were probably

expecting I

wouldn’t notice.
Forgive me,

I know you are

the disrict attorney

and hoped for

better of me.

after we had been parking

in a silent corner
we noticed

someone

wrote us

a ticket
a citation for a traffic violation.

Well,
I saw it when you stole the parking space from that old lady.

That was not a nice thing for you to do.
True Friends are important.

And you, are not one.
So when you left,

Your car,

Was parked there

In the way of her.
My drivers license is for all things.

And so,

Your car,

Was moved

Out of the way of her.
I put the tow truck back,

Because True Friends are considerate like that.
You will find,

Your car,

Somewhere down there,

At the bottom of the hill.

Wherever it may have stopped after it did all of that rolling. 
I trust that this will be

a good learning

for you.
Plus,

Your car.