Don’t get mad, get DS106!

What if poets wrote parking tickets? Joe wrote this brilliant example. Write your own.



Add your response


There are 23 written responses to this assignment.

A Fruitful Caveat

Written by Andrew Clay @amclay09 on November 16, 2014 6:20 pm
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The bitter pill of your fine
Is sugar-coated in rhyme
For I am poet in residence
To help you see sense
About minor violations
And the need for recompense

I know you feel agrieved
If not hurt then at least peeved
Only seconds late I guess
Not your fault if I press
About your tribulations
And a ticket for your stress

So although we share your pain
Your loss is now our gain
Please be assured that
This is not a simple spat
About trivial regulations
But a fruitful caveat

The TIcket

Written by Justin Hempe on November 16, 2014 12:30 am
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No parking in the firelane
No parking by a sign to stop

I’d like to keep on moving by
But I’m the parking poet cop

You cam to watch the
game in eagle nation

You parked illegally and
have earned a parking citation


Written by Sara McDermott on November 15, 2014 5:21 pm
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The sky is singing!
My feet dance on the ground.
“An A on my paper”
What a marvelous sound.
Not a care in the world,
My excitement won’t yield,
I’m–oh god, oh no,
What’s on my wind shield?

They will be mad.

Written by Katie Barnes on November 15, 2014 12:13 am
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Don’t park on College Ave,

Or they will be mad.

The will fine you,

and destroy you.

$100 dollar fine,

appeal and you’ll be fine?

No, not on College Ave,

kiss $100 goodbye.

Give Up the Stash

Written by @LKMahone on November 14, 2014 11:54 pm
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Azz, Grass, or Cash!

NOBODY parks here 4 free!

will be NO excuses when I tick it,

just give up the stash.

No one cares that you disagree,

failure to pay and this I decree.

Next time I’ll boot you, Center block you; left to rely on Fred!

When all you had to do,

was mind one simple rule.

That Azz, Grass, or Cash

Not even YOU park here for free.

The Forgetful Drive

Written by Cris Crissman @cris2b on November 14, 2014 11:45 pm
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The name of the street is the first
to go
followed obediently by the space, the
it’s breaking my heart, your sad story
which suddenly becomes
just another sad story, though a
story I’ve not heard before.

as if, one by one, the stories
of why you don’t deserve a ticket
decided to retire to the southern
hemisphere of the brain
the part where the nine muses

tell me another but make it a good one
entertain me

with apologies to Billy Collins


Written by Rachel on November 14, 2014 9:34 pm
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Don’t think you are special because you attend college
I will always find you

I will find you in the commuter lot, I will find you on college blvd
I will always find you

My success comes at your failure
I live to see you fall
If you are out of bounds-
I will find you

All of you students will receive my stiff fines
Appeals will not help you
Because I will find you

Good luck

I will

Written by @karenatsharon on November 14, 2014 8:37 pm
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i will ticket every
car parked in the handicapped parking spot
I will ticket with the utmost fervor
and naughty glee
with the joy
of punishing the lazy transgressor
and satisfying my inner
desire to make you squirm
The heftiness of the fine
Will be just like the icing
on a cake
I will write
bringing like a dervish
And I will whistle as I work

Modeled on e.e.cummings’ I will wade out

The Jokes On You

Written by Mike Black on November 14, 2014 8:00 pm
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You must think I’m a fool
If you thought I would let you break the rules
But the jokes on you
Better track down that towing dude

I was kind enough to warn you the first time
Guess it didn’t register in your simple-ass mind
Now you’re stuck with a fine that you can’t decline
So next time, just respect the motherfuckin’ sign

UMW Parking Ticket

Written by Nicky Memita on November 14, 2014 7:58 pm
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A raindrop fell,
I said farewell
And left my car
At the tower with the bell.

The immediate morn,
A white truck I scorn
Placed something on my car,

Oh goodness me!
Can it be
A thin white slip,
Twenty-five dollar fee?

Towed, Towed, Away

Written by @jbrazelt on November 14, 2014 7:31 pm
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So you got Towed, Towed Away

because I told you not to park that way way

so today you’re gonna pay pay.

Don’t cry it’s your fault because you decided to stay stay

But today is not your day my friend,

oh no because you got towed, towed away.

Just a Second

Written by carmela Mitchell on November 14, 2014 5:53 pm
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In a hurry, you leave it there
It’ll only be a second, no big deal

When you return, you see that badge
A boot already around your tire

Shit! It was only a second
But it took you 10 hours to pay for that $80 ticket

No Change

Written by Nick Randall on November 14, 2014 5:33 pm
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Don’t debate.
Because you’re late.

No coins in the meter.
Just make me meaner.

You pushed your luck.
But your just a dumb fuck.

Now you get a ticket.
Don’t raise your picket.

So have a nice day.
And you better pay.

Pay The Meter

Written by Thomas Baird on November 14, 2014 5:01 pm
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You park, you stay
You don’t pay the meter before you walk away

You’ve been gone, for sometime
Dang you must be out of your mind

So I’m writing this ticket, to you my friend
95 dollars, that’s your fine, the end.

if bukowski was the police

Written by @todd_conaway on November 14, 2014 4:41 pm
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the lucky man

a good afternoon at the track
is that feeling of release after vomiting
good at the moment, but you never know what might happen later

leaving the lot and hailing a cab
some lucky man parked a pretty buick along side
the fire hydrant
i had money and i had to piss
the window was open by lucky man
he wanted piss in his car

someone must have seen me
and some one must have told lucky man
and that lucky man he comes running after me
i had been at the races and no good man can run after that

i stood my ground and that lucky man swung
and i did not

i had tried to piss “hank” on his seat
the seat was too small and my aim was poor
when he swung his aim was poor
he must have been at the races too and i understood that when he fell in front of me
i kicked him in the head as hard as I could and he grunted and lay there

i reached in to the lucky mans pocket and took his keys
i went slowly back to his buick and started her up
she purred becuse i was a lucky man

you never know what might happen later


Written by Kelsy Minnick on November 14, 2014 3:21 pm
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You with your large trail or
We know you want to watch your “valuable stuff”
But you cannot simply make
A parking spot all your own
The yellow stripes are there for a reason
So please park back in the back of the lot
For future ventures out

A Shakespearean Ticket

Written by Ryan Lacey on November 14, 2014 1:19 pm
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I know you were late
For an important date

Your reservations
To meet her expectations

Hopefully this was worth it
Because you’ll pay from pocket

Giving tickets always is fun
To guys who are on the run

Forget to pay the meter
Suffer the Consequences

Parking Tickets…

Written by Kevin Le on November 14, 2014 12:59 pm
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Parked my car on the curb
With my emergency signal lights on
Hopefully I can be
In and out of a chore
Real quick

I came back five minutes later
And already saw
A ticket being written for me

I argued
“I was only gone for 2 minutes!!”
But the policeman
Was having none of it

Then I succumbed
Into a brief depression
And dreading
The upcoming court date

Sincerely, UMW Parking Services

Written by Brittany Scites on November 14, 2014 10:15 am
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We know there is no room
Because the construction crews are making booms

But we’re going to write this ticket
In hopes that you GET IT.

Do not park on side streets
I know you just want to get to your seats
Or get to Seaco for some eats.

But don’t do it because we will write you a ticket
And we don’t care if you picket

You still have to pay it because we don’t have money
Sorry, but that’s my job, deal with it, honey.

With apologies to John Donne

Written by dkernohan on November 14, 2014 10:08 am
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No parking space is an island,
Entire of itself,
Every space is a piece of the car park,
A part of the main.
If a line be washed away by the rain,
The car park is the less.
As well as if a machine were out of order.
As well as if you had no change
Or of thine own hurry were:
Any man’s despair diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know for whom the ticket is written;
It is written for thee.

Pay only half if settled within one week

This Is Just to Say

Written by @sandramardene on November 14, 2014 9:59 am
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This is just to say
I have given
the ticket
that is on
your windshield

for double parking
outside the bakery
which you were probably
expecting I
wouldn’t notice.

Forgive me,
I know you are
the disrict attorney
and hoped for
better of me.

a citation for a traffic violation

Written by Anna Cow on November 14, 2014 6:02 am
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after we had been parking
in a silent corner

we noticed
wrote us
a ticket

a citation for a traffic violation.

Your Car

Written by @iamTalkyTina on November 14, 2014 5:28 am
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I saw it when you stole the parking space from that old lady.
That was not a nice thing for you to do.

True Friends are important.
And you, are not one.

So when you left,
Your car,
Was parked there
In the way of her.

My drivers license is for all things.
And so,
Your car,
Was moved
Out of the way of her.

I put the tow truck back,
Because True Friends are considerate like that.

You will find,
Your car,
Somewhere down there,
At the bottom of the hill.
Wherever it may have stopped after it did all of that rolling.

I trust that this will be
a good learning
for you.

Your car.