Write a Human Observation Report based on the photos of TDC498

Review the photos from the Daily Create of May 21, 2013 “Take a picture of where you are right now from a weird point of view, like an ant, an alien, or a ghost.” Pick one image, and write up a report to headquarters from the creature that was observing one of these humans. Be sure to include the URL of the image so HQ can verify your observations.

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Submitted by CogDog

There are 11 written responses to this assignment.

Last transmission of Cmdr Hendricks

Written by Christina Hendricks (@clhendricksbc) on May 29, 2013 6:18 am
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Investigation file #562-9945x-00y
Regarding the disappearance of Cmdr. Hendricks

1. transcript of Cmdr. Hendricks’ last transmission
2. last image sent by Cmdr. Hendricks before transmission ended: http://aforgrave.ca/detritus/2013/05/27/animated-gif-movie-trading-cards-to-serve-man/

[This is a selection of the last transmission, showing the last few minutes before the transmission ended abruptly. The entire transmission can be found in file #562-9945x-00z]

HQ: Sorry, we couldn’t hear that; too much interference. Please repeat. Over.

Cmdr. H: [speaking softly] I have somehow been beamed into an extremely hostile area. Coordinates must be mistaken. This is not, repeat, NOT the experimental garden. It is full of artificial structures, not plant life. Over.

HQ: We triple-checked the coordinates and are doing so again as we speak. We need to figure out where you are. Please describe your surroundings. Over.

CH: [speaking softly] I just escaped from a huge, round metal structure with steep sides. There was a hostile inhabitant who was using an enormous stream of water that is pushing me towards a hole in the bottom of the metal structure. I managed to climb out using a long, wooden, cylindrical item that resembles a log with the bark stripped off. I am hiding at the moment behind a giant, black box. Over.

HQ: Stay put, Hendricks, until we can lock onto your position. Over.

CH: Damn, I think the creature has seen me. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOO [muffled sounds]

HQ: Cmdr. Hendricks? Cmdr. Hendricks? Do you copy? Come in, Cmdr. Hendricks. Over.

[there are a few moments of radio silence]

CH: [out of breath] [whispering] The creature grabbed hold of me and tried to stuff me inside the giant black box through a swinging door on the front of it. It had several buttons and dials. I have no idea what the box does, but given the hostility shown me so far I can only guess the creature meant to do away with me by putting me inside. I wriggled free and am hiding near a large metal field with a grid across it. I am going to try to cross the beams on the grid. Over.

HQ: We just checked the coordinates and someone forgot to account for leap years. You’re in the right place, but the wrong time. We are firing up the transporter and just need to get your current coordinates. We’re working as fast as we can, but it will take 5 minutes. You need to find a way to keep safe. Over.

CH: [whispering] I am crossing the black beams over the metal field. The field is strange…it has circular patterns with holes… Oh *&#$!!! This is a death trap! The creature has ignited flames in the holes, heating up the entire grid! I’ve got to make a run for it! [3 seconds of breathing hard] Okay, I’m safe for the moment behind a tall, shiny metal box. Over.

HQ: Just 4 more minutes and we’ll have you. Hang on. Over.

CH: Wait; I’ve climbed up the tall, shiny box to get a look inside, and I think I can shut this whole area down. It’s just like HAL in here, and if I can get it powered down, the creature can’t use any more of these weapons until you get me out. I’ll just climb in for a closer loo…[end of transmission]

Procession of the Polymorphously Perverse

Written by JanWeb3 on May 29, 2013 12:06 am
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Report from faculty office #2600 to HQ stop
14:38:55 stop
Last faculty (female) absent stop
Procession has begun stop
Checked all offices on campus stop
All faculty joined procession stop
In final stages of polymorphism stop
Campus clear stop
Multiform takeover stop
Stand by stop


Sir Boa of Cake

Written by Ashley Bocan on May 29, 2013 12:00 am
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Currently, I am swinging above this unusual specimen. Although I am a Boa, I must say this girls hair is ratchet. Just look! Birds could nest yearly in that mess. Regardless, the small blonde girl appears to have cake and as a sophisticated Boa I must indulge. Well I’m slithering off this hanging dear skull currently and am off to consume ridiculous amounts of cake. For now the observatory Boa is clocking out to normal hungry Boa. Tootles!

Over My Head

To Serve Aliens

Written by Cris Crissman (Cris2B) on May 28, 2013 11:28 pm
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Captain’s Log
Star Date May 28, 2013

I continue to observe humans in their quaint everyday activities.

Something interesting in Publishers Weekly.

Human educator with obsession for 60s pop culture is writing a cookbook titled, To Serve Aliens.

Will try to get a copy.

To Serve Aliens

Final Field Re ………

Written by @Rockylou22 or Rochelle on May 28, 2013 11:22 pm
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Transport coordinates were in error or previous reports from this planet are suspect.
Crews attempts to extract ourselves to escape the extreme heat were unsuccessful.
Little time left before we all die from the ………. beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
Staring down the barrels of a toaster

Field Report

Written by @NormWright on May 28, 2013 10:00 pm
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Attention hindquarters –
Good News!
No signs of intelligent life here.
You may begin the new weapon testing program immediately


After He Kicked Me Down the Stairs

Written by @iamTalkyTina on May 28, 2013 6:51 pm
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I can't reach it...

After He kicked me down the stairs, I took a nasty tumble, and when I stopped going around and around at the bottom of the stairs, I looked up and this is what it looked like.

My human observation was that he was dead.

Cleared for Public Viewing, Report by Captain Antigonus regarding Giant population.

Written by Kara saffos on May 28, 2013 6:35 pm
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I am writing to my superiors with great concern for our Supreme Leader and the lives of everyone in our Great Colony, The Ultra-Awesome Conservators of the Underground.

Keeping with the wishes of my people, I, Antigonus III, traveled far above ground on a mission. This was a mission of surveillance, to gain knowledge of the strange giants who have recently inhabited the outlying jungles just beyond our country’s borders.

The creatures are of such strangeness and immensity as to be inconceivable to the common senses of ant-kind, and my people scarcely believe they are the threat I know them to be.

After traveling for many turns of the twin dics, I found myself emerged from the green expanses around me and came upon a massive structure, the likes of which never seen by our people, but written in our lore. This was no doubt the colony of our foes.

I first came upon a field of rock, so tall and all encompassing that I had to climb a treachourous cliff before I could see my end goal- a large reflective vortex. Their architecture makes our entire civilization look like nothing more than a mound of dirt.

What I came to see next was a long and difficult journey through this large unnavigatable environ, so unfamiliar and dangerous to me that I almost lost my way…and my hope. Once I was able to enter their domain, I was almost immediately claimed by the sick, gray grass that covers the ground of their colony. I soon found myself unable to dig underneath it. It caught my legs and drained me of my engery as I struggled to make it above ground level. In the distance, I could see smaller structures set throughout their territoty. I knew to survive I had to make it to the closest one possible.

Eventually I came upon a cliff of enormous size, I climbed and trekked over the the grains and ledges of this steep structure and fought to hold on. Once I finally made it over the final plauteau I saw that the surface was very smooth but covered in unusual tools that were varied and specifically placed. These tools themselves were massive and prevent a great danger to us-many of them could easily be thrown by the giants in our general direction, and none of them could we outrun. Frightened, I knew I must continue my mission and seek more information elsewhere.

From the great brown structure I was able to travel henceforce from the walls. I traveled a great distance along the sparse yellow lands before following my scent to the largest colony room I have ever seen. Surely it was meant for their queen. There are great structures everywhere- and many many more tools. After what seemed like hours, I was able to climb onto a large mountain that my scent had led me to. Oh joy! After my ever exhausting journey I had finally found a food source. I eagerly rushed myself over, foolishly, as I narrowly avoided a large red puddle of liquid that surely would have trapped me. As I was beginning to enjoy my well earned meal…I saw it…I saw what would change not only my life, but the lives of us all forever.

They were everywhere, scattered about like fleas. Laying lifeless in puddles of foam…hundreds, maybe thousands of them. Our people. Massacered at the hands of the giants. After facing the fight of my life, I broke down and could not move. I had to mourn for them. As I walked by, I realized I knew some of them. Some were from our colony, many were workers that had been missing for weeks. In that instance I snapped back to reality. I knew what had to be done. I had to return and rescue my people. That was when I encountered the giant.

I stood still at first, hoping he would think me one of the fallen, but as his prepared his meal he spotted me. He picked up a strange reflective cylinder and stared at me coldly through it, the damn monster. I knew I could not outrun the fearsome creature, but I at least had to try. As he turned for something, presumably a device with which to kill me, I quickly hid myself amongst his waste. For what seemed like hours, he hunted me while I ran in the safety of the shadows. Somehow, someway, I escaped.

tdc499 - not measuring up

The next few disc cycles were a blur. I can’t even remember escaping the confines of that evil place, just the rush of fresh air and relief when I was again reached the jungle, which was previously seen to me as a treachourous place. Finally, I returned home to the colony. And today, I stand here before you, the Most Honorable Senate of the Ant People and I beg that we waste no time. They draw ever near with their structures. We must relocate and start a new somewhere else. Perhaps a place where we recognize no ant or tree.

Angels Unaware!

Written by Bill Smith @byzantiumbooks on May 28, 2013 4:00 pm
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Report on Angel Transport Room, from observer bzb
Oberservational URL: http://flic.kr/p/enN8A7

Hidden behind the Cloak of Invisability, I could see the activities in the Angel Transport Room quite well, though the glare filtering through the cloak occasionally blurred details.

First, the Angel itself appears as a winged baby humanoid. The wings are not of sufficient size to actually fly, so the Room is outfitted with a rotary launcher. Many time I observed an Angel leap into the launcher. If all went well, the Angel was flung through one of the portals leading to the outside worlds. The Angel seen in this image ended up on top of a large console of unknown function. Shortly after this image was processed, this Angel dove out the bright portal seen at its right.

Other objects and devices in the room appear to facilitate the launching function, or aid in recovering from failed launches. For example, cushions below not only absorb impacts, but the rebound effect often allows a successful launch. The bright energy sources above the portals seem to provide a boost as the Angels fly by.

We will provide additional angles on the Angels once we find each other in our invisibility cloaks.



Hairy Situation Ahead

Written by Katy Chase on May 28, 2013 3:35 pm
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Caution Ahead Fellow Adventurers!!

Little Alien Hiking Up My Face

I seem to have encountered some sort of cavernous entity located at the foot of what I have named Hair Mountain. There seems to be a giant eyeball attached to the side of the mountain and I am certain that it is watching my every move. Occasionally hair mountain engulfs the eyeball only for it to resurface seconds later. I briefly thought of taking shelter in the two neighboring caves but I was blown away by constant puffs of hot air. I am entirely perplexed by this encounter and I would suggest exploring another land immediately for our safety.


Little Alien

(Also on my blog: http://reclaimingrelaxation.com/hairy-situation-ahead/)

I’ve been captured

Written by Brian E. Bennett @bennettscience on May 28, 2013 2:56 pm
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“Burnhardt to base…come in…”

Damn. No reception. These walls must block signals somehow…an audio journal will have to do I suppose. I just hope someone finds it…

I’ve been here for three days. Days one and two were uneventful. Lots of observation, lots of photos. I was debating even whether or not to stay another day. I guess I should have left when I wanted to.


I’ve been here for 12 hours. I can’t quite figure out what the walls are made of, but it seems to be a giant cylinder. There are strange markings on the side, but I can’t tell what they’re for. At the same time, considering my current situation, I don’t really want to know what they’re for.

This strange being keeps coming by. It doesn’t do anything other than look. The first time, when I was captured, I was sure I was doomed. But, it just put me in this *thing,* and then left. It came back, and rather than not have anything left, I snapped this photo to go along with my recording. That way, maybe someone will learn something. If I’m ever found, that is…

tdc499 - not measuring up

I don’t know what it is thinking (or if its thinking at all), but that’s not important. I need to find a way out, but the environment is devoid of tools.


Going on 18 hours. My environmental controls are going to die soon, and then I suppose I will to. If this really is the last thing I get to say, I’m sorry I didn’t get home to see the stars come up in the morning again. I wonder what it will do when I die. What could it want with me?

“Burnhardt to base…come in, base…please…”