I’ve heard rumours. People talk, you know, about what happens when they come, but I don’t believe it. It isn’t true. I know my sweet girl wouldn’t take me there. Her hands are delicate, the way they reach for me, rearrange my soil, and moisten my leaves. She wouldn’t. Couldn’t. They’re just rumours. 
Tomato is pathetic. She dangles; weak, dependent. She has so little to show for herself (besides her red colour and her loud mouth). Tomato is the one with the rumours. She claims to have seen the blades and hot pans when she lived on The Inside. She lived in a flowering pot. Yes, a FLOWERING pot. Flowers are sad, little creatures who believe they have more worth because of their beauty. Arrogant, mean, and dramatic. 
I, however, am resilient. My leaves are strong and rich in colour, and my stems, oh my stems, they’re beautiful. They are my source, pulling nutrients from my soil up to my leaves. They spread like veins into the green of my leaves, in contrasting red, orange, or yellow. Yes, my colours vary. I am like art. I am the valuable one. I am full of vitamin A and C, potassium, magnesium, and even some protein.
My sweet girl wouldn’t take me there, not to the The Inside. 

It was a peaceful beginning for me with a spectacular view. My friends and family all gathered together hanging out and never suspecting our journey and demise to be one of such longing and temptation for human kind. We never knew the myriad of ways in which my family would end up. Our transformation is quite incredible but dependent upon how we are paired and what state we will be used. From roasted, ground, 

We understand precisely why you find us completely irresistable. What’s not to love? From our vibrant colors to our delectable taste with a teeth-pleasing crunch, we are a snacker’s delight. And, oh, how sad for those with a wheat allergy! They are unable to experience the sheer joy of our exquisite combination of sweetness, saltiness, and crunch. (What is it about the green ones?)

I just love it when I get rubbed down with the most delectable spices. The feeling of the cracked pepper, grains of salt, and all of the other yummy goodness being massaged in to me just makes me feel like it’s a day at the spa. And like any good cook will know, I need to rest for a day or so in the refrigerator so that I can totally soak in all of the flavors. There are a few ways that the best in me can be brought out. Either in the oven, on a grill or, my favorite, in the smoker. My favorite home is the smoker. There is just something about that mesquite wood smoking me out for hours on end…ahhhhh!!! I can smell it now. Ya just can’t get that in an oven or crock pot. So if you are lazy and want the easy way out may I suggest that you select another cut of meat if you don’t want to ruin me.
The best way to keep me happy is to put me fat side up. Just like someone who goes into the sauna to release all of the toxins after working out, the heat melts that fat I worked so hard to get. But do not fret; by putting me fat side up, all of that deliciousness soaks down into my grains and makes me soooooooo moist and tender. It just doesn’t get better than that.
Now you know that I’m ready when there is a wonderful smoke ring several inches deep. Cut me against the grain and smoother me in your best home made sauce…none of that bottle stuff.

On a hot day with the humidity raising temperatures to what seems almost unbearable, I escape to a childhood memory that always bring a smile.  The bells ring in the neighborhood with the promise of a soon arrival of a welcomed escape.  So many choices….cold, refreshing and delightful.  Fruity or rich flavor….whatever I choose cannot go wrong.  The heat beats down on the pavement as for a brief moment I feel the chill of a flavorful chill of creaminess.  Almost daily in summer we welcomed the visit.  Oh how wonderful to be a child and know this blessed treat and anticipation.  Life seemed so simple with this reward.

Oh no, screamed the seeds! You have removed my black coat! I don’t like your crunching you greedy fool!  I know it’s summer and you love your vacation, but those black seeds are my inner feelings and plain ole guts!  
Stop bemoaning your fate my friend.  The seeds are not everything.  My spring green comfort bathes you in serenity.  I’m your cover, confidante, companion.  My juices flow ever so slowly with a tart of a twist. I’m the bigger portion of your life.
Not so, said the skin.  Rub my furry skin and get your exfoliation on, baby.  I’m the big gun, because without me neither of you would exist.  I camouflage and protect like none other.  I’m the  beauty to behold, and don’t you forget it!!

The day begins with sunshine on my skin. Plucked from a branch and hustled out in a crate with a bunch of strangers, I soon  find myself being hustled down to a market filled with color. Picked from a bin, I can be sliced and mashed, but I still maintain the integrity of myself- flavorful and exotic. I add excitement to most parties and even salad mixtures. I’m fat but healthy. Get me around my friends tomato and garlic and I am hard to resist with a chip. 

Do you need a good potassium boost?  I love hanging around until someone decides to choose me from the bunch.  You can add me to your healthy cereal to start your day or swirl me in a delicious shake.  I not only add potassium to your diet.

Did you know I am considered a berry?  I bet there are many things you did not know about me.  Not only does a banana contain a high level of potassium but I also fight against high blood pressure, atherosclerosis and stroke.  So pull me out of the bunch and have a healthy, sweet tasting snack. 

It’s so very toasty warm right now. Yesterday, was shower day and boy did I need the water. You know how they say you can feel yourself growing, well it’s true. I’m sure that I am bigger than I was before the bath.  I could stay here forever.

As time passes, this cycle repeats itself until the dreaded day comes.  I can hear the big machines moving towards me, I can hear the screams of my neighbors and I know my time is coming.

The machine is here, it yanks me up by the hair and throws me in a bin with all the others. We know we are going to get a hot bath and our green hair cut. The hot water will make my orange skin glow.

If I’m lucky I will go straight into a bag, but if not — it will be the gullitine.

I enjoyed the closeness of my friends until it started getting hot!  Every second to increase the heat exponentially. Then it wasn’t so cozy anymore, I had to move! Get away from me my actions screamed  and it seems we all had the same thoughts . I felt like I would burst….and then I did. It was violently liberating and a little scary but the feeling of being new, bigger and free quickly disipated because my friends were doing the same thing. Now we aren’t so cozy and to be truthful I can’t move at all. I am pressed against my buddies as we all struggle for room to move, which we can’t, and its still so hot and then….release the top of our house is opened and we can breathe again because its not so hot. Earthquake Orville yells and we are thrown against each other in a jiffy; then we are being thrown out of our home and being picked up several at a time and delivered into the cave with moving rocks.

My life and death are a study in contrast.  First of all, who would think such a small creature would fetch such a great price?  Second, where once I swam freely, one among millions in the cool blue ocean, I meet my end with a few family members on a skewer, stuffed with jack cheese and jalepeño, wrapped in bacon and grilled over an open flame, only to be served on a sizzling hot platter with drawn butter.  

Humans are so fickle.  They either come at my backbone, my foundation if you will, backwards rather than consuming me as originally intended. Or what’s worse, they cast my backbone aside as if to tell me I’m not good enough.  Occasionally they will pick things off of me.  I don’t like that either; it’s hurtful.  In my hopes of pleasing humans, there are so many choices they don’t even realize I make each day about my physique. Shall I choose trim and fit or go all out thick and full? And what make-up do a wear? Do I go white or something in a red tone? And accessorize? Oh boy that is tough.  Some thing I wear are beautiful, but once I get a little hot they can get down right ugly!  I only hope I can please them

Little kids ask for me all the time. You can find me in every grocery store and probably in your pantry.  Some people think that I’m too cheesy but I think that’s the main reason to love me.  Fancy restaurants try add all kinds of unique ingredients to me but I’m best made just from the box. My combination of noodles and cheesy sauce will bring you back to your childhood kitchen table.

Humans are so fickle.  They either come at my backbone, my foundation if you will, backwards rather than consuming me as originally intended. Or what’s worse, they cast my backbone aside as if to tell me I’m not good enough.  Occasionally they will pick things off of me.  I don’t like that either; it’s hurtful.  In my hopes of pleasing humans, there are so many choices they don’t even realize I make each day about my physique. Shall I choose trim and fit or go all out thick and full? And what make-up do a wear? Do I go white or something in a red tone? And accessorize? Oh boy that is tough.  Some thing I wear are beautiful, but once I get a little hot they can get down right ugly!  I only hope I can please them

Mmmmm…. I am so nice and warm all wrapped up, feeling pretty bueno!  I have my friends Refried Bean and R. Ice next to me keeping me company.  What else could I want? 
I’m not real fond of Onion coming over, he makes me cry.  I just like it to be plain ole me.   Vegetarions love me!  Chicken ad beef take a back seat….  I am the BIG cheese in town!  

As I sit here on the shelf waiting for you to pick me I wonder, do you know how delicious I am?  Do you remember the last time we spent time together?  I’m crunchy, a little sweet, and healthy.  My golden box is my comfort but I will comfort your hunger.  I know you are feeling snacky and you can invite our meaty and cheesy friends from that cold box to join us.  I’m not that regular kind that comes in the 4 pack sleeve I’m more of a treat that can be fancy or plain. Pick me the crispy one.  

Mmmmm…. I am so nice and warm all wrapped up, feeling pretty bueno!  I have my friends Refried Bean and R. Ice next to me keeping me company.  What else could I want? 
I’m not real fond of Onion coming over, he makes me cry.  I just like it to be plain ole me.   Vegetarions love me!  Chicken ad beef take a back seat….  I am the BIG cheese in town!  

I love the music where I hang out. Checkered table cloths, candles, dim lights add to the atmosphere in my abode. I love fresh tomatoes, basking in a warm oven, and connecting with warm toasty bread. I prefer happy, noisy crowds

You know some people say I’m a bit cheesy, but really I’m a layered kind of guy. 

Here we go again. I’m tired of getting pushed around. Don’t get me wrong, I love where I live. It’s beautiful, rolling hills, it never gets too hot or cold and I can see that big bridge with some binoculars. But it’s bad enough  when I get picked over, put in baskets but the worst part is getting stepped on. I hate that! Yet for some reason, people think this is all I’m good for. I’ve got a lot of uses. Some people think I cure cancer, I don’t know. But i do wish people would watch where they walked. 

I am enjoyed the world over. I have been sought out by royalty, carried across the seas by adventurers, enjoyed by animals in the wild. I am a part of almost every meal you eat and yet I am overlooked by so many.  Recently I have been villainized by health experts,said to weaken the hearts of the strong and healthy, but inessence I am no more than an innocent mineral.

It is best when grilled. The coals should be hot enough to cook evenly on both sides for 20 minutes each. Make sure you season before you grill and the product should be 1.5 to 2 inches thick, a prime cut so it will be tender and melt in your mouth delicious when it is done.

Here we sit waiting to be surrounded in red. About to lose our self, lose our plain sticky happiness.

We see the red rise above us and fall into our world, it is hot and causes us to swim. Then something sharp and cold begins to force us together. Now we are spinning over and over. Our new journey begins ….the stomach.

I am at home in many environments. Often, I am put with spices and tomatoes to make an international favorite. But I am just as comfortable in creamy goodness. Children consider one of my creamy habitats a major food group. Although I am often characterized as belonging to a specific nationality, I can be found on the menu in almost any restaurant. My versatility makes me the perfect companion for many different types of food. Maybe you will want to order me for lunch.

I hate to brag, but it is doubtful that anyone can resist me.  Although I might be seen mostly in the summer, I am actually popular all year round.  My personality is multi-faceted.  Depending on my mood, I can be sweet  and minty.  At other times, I feel a little nutty.  People enjoy me in cones, bowls or with my friends, Cake and Cupcake.  I’m invited to so many birthday parties that I can’t even count them.  I try to make them all though.  People do love me afer all.  I’m sure that you will want to spend some time with me soon.  Call me.  I’m usually available – and sometimes on sale!

I am a joyful food. People can’t help but smile when they eat me.  I have sunny look and smiling contour.  Kids love me and I’m sweet.  I have a few catchy tunes sung about me.

I was born in a bowl.  I grew there.  But as i grew I was beaten down repeatedly.  Over and over again by a giant and her fists.  
After I was beaten, I was taken away from my home.  Compressed as far as I could be without my body tearing apart from itself against a cold, sterile, metal sheet.
I thought it was over.  Then the corpses of other mangled foods were thrown atop me. I shudder to think what happened to them.  Their weight was excruciating.
A white blanket was used to cover us all.  Soon after we were moved again to an enclosed room.  The room got warmer and warmer.  The blanket of white began to droop and brown.   It was terrible.
Then I was cut up into eight pieces and she ate me..

I am delightfully green, green of various shades.  I look good as the garb of Roughrider fans.
Beat me like a drum to see if I’m ready.  The deeper the sound, the better I’ll be!
I go well with summer days, beach, park or salad.  My insides are comparable to the nectar of the gods.  The sweet, succulent juice will put a smile on your face.
Refreshment.
People used to say my seeds would grow inside you if you ate them.  Luckily I come seedless for the lazy people who can’t eat around them.
Drop me and you will be sorry, the mess is a catastrophe.

I am best made fresh by the hands of a Baba,

I have an outside layer that is ooey and gooey,

My insides are full of lots of yummy surprises!

You can boil me in a hot pot of water,

Or you can deep fry me in a greasy lather.

It only takes me 8-10 minutes to be fully cooked,

Then you can add any toppings you so wish,

Sour cream, bacon bits, and onions enhance my taste,

Don’t drop any be sure not to waste!

But be careful when you bite into me for the middle is hot,

Fair warning once you begin to eat me, you could end up eating the entire pot!

I used to be part of such a large family. We’d travel all day in a very tight group. Here and there, back and forth. If we saw anything scary, we’d just group together tighter. Then one day I found myself without water, floating midair in a net. I found myself blanched in vinegar, then I was cured with the olive oil. Then the worst thing of all, I found myself stuffed into a jar with my family, but instead of scaring away that which would harm us, now we only attracted them more.

Never have so many paid so much for so little.
Hey, it’s a pretty good gig if you can get it.
Consumers buy me because I don’t have something that they may or may not have an intolerance for.  I cost so much because it’s not easy to find substitutes for a product known as the “staff of life.”  Some form is a stable in every food culture in the world.
So enjoy my metamorphosis in a truly amazing range of products from pizza crust to granola to bagels.
And remember that what you don’t get will cost you.

I’m not made by just anybody. I’m made and packaged in a factory, then sent out all over the world to make kids to the elderly very happy. I’m probably the most popular food in the world.  I’m a special blend of ingredients that forms a delicious snack. I’m a little nutty. I’m cut and imprinted with the name of my maker after I’m blended and placed in a mold. The reason they mold and cut me a certain way is so you can share me with your friends, but that rarely ever happens.  Then, I sit and bake for awhile with all my millions of friends surrounding me. I first get a silver foil placed around me, then a sleeve that surrounds that. Then I’m ready to go, but don’t leave me in the sun, I won’t taste as good.
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You stare at me every evening longingly.

Eventually you give in.

You pour me into a nice tall glass and droll over my figure.

You love my bubby personality,

And my foamy hat.

You enjoy me most on a hot, humid day,

Or after a particularly hard day.

Many nights I Think you love me.

Many mornings I think you hate me.

I think I love you too. 

So I am just sitting here chillen, with the ac as high as it could go.  Oh no… someone is upset about something again shes coming to get me.  She always calls me “comfort food” but I find nothing comforting whenever she near me.  Now I am just sitting here.  Man is it hot in here or is it just me?  This heat makes me feel like the wicked witch in a rainstorm.  Hopefully she stops crying and puts me back in the air conditioning.

My lord.  It’s about time she learned how to cook me up right.  All of those years of sautéing me in a little bit of olive oil and garlic.  A dash of red pepper flakes.  Dry as a bone I was.  Her husband could barely choke me down.  
But she caught on.
Superfoods need to be done right to truly be super.
There’s nothing like a warm, steamy bath in some vegetable broth.  A little salt.  The garlic and pepper flakes can stay.  
It’s the simplicity of it all, really. 
Turns out when done right, you’ve never tasted such tender, green leaves.

Members of my kind meet many fates though we all start out underground. The humans like to eat us and they have such a variety of rituals they put us through in preparation. Some us us are wrapped in shiny coats and heated until our innards are steamy and fluffy, while others of us get tossed into boiling water or hot grease. Some of us will be smashed to a pulp before being served. Sometimes we are served hot while other times we are cooked then chilled before our consumption. In nearly all cases we will be joined with other ingredients that please the tastes of those who eat us. Of all the many fates that await us, I am among the lucky ones. I’ve been stripped down to the thinnest essence of my original self, cooked through and through and seasoned just right. I will exit this world with a grand satisfying CRUNCH!

I’m burning up. I just got cooked in the oven and cut into equal pieces. I do have to say that I smell rather good. Dinner begins and I slowly start to wane away and I know the end is near. I hear the people talking about how they love everything about me; my crispy crust, my melted ingredients, and my tasty condiments. I actually don’t mind that I won’t last much longer as I desire being desired. I can come in all different kinds whether it’s Hawaiian, meat lovers, or vegetarian. Dinner is almost over and the last bit of me is ingested and I say goodbye to the outside world.

It’s freezing in here! Currently, I’ve been in this plastic container for two days. Slowly various other containers have been disappearing on the regular. I wonder, where do they all go? Regardless, I’m soaked in butter surrounded by these lame noodles. These noodles don’t even talk they just flop everywhere when the container gets moved. On another not I feel like my shell is gone. It’s a very odd notion as before I didn’t even know how to get my skin off but I WANT it back! How did I even get here? 

I was born to be desired, stamped with the insignia of my creator, and folded in precious, shimmering materials. If the fate of my co-createds holds true for me, then this covering was further covered with the name of my creator, printed on materials too rough ever to touch the skin of the beloved.
Beloved we were. Skin we never had.
What I did not expect was how quickly a worshipper will devour you. Barely was I freed from my sacred enclosure when teeth pressed into me, and I was gone. Made one with the flesh of the devout lover, in whom my voice speaks on.

Life isn’t always interesting, but I think aging is one of the things that will never cease to amaze me. I mean, it’s a natural thing, right? There isn’t anything terribly amazing about that. What really astonishes me is the fact that I think I’m fine, and then all of the sudden, it seems I’m thick and becoming somewhat of a sourpuss.
I remember back when I was young. Fresh from the farm, you might say. I thought I would stay young forever. (Don’t tell any one, but I even had some work done to prevent…you know…getting old.) I thought I was the cream of the crop, and nothing could touch me.
I remember, when I was growing up, there was this one time it was *really* hot. I mean, hotter than the dickens. It didn’t seem like there was anything I could do about it. I was pretty restless, moving from here to there, pretty muh wherever life flowed. Unfortunately, I caught one of those “summer colds” once…a bout of something nasty I couldn’t get rid of. Around the time it started cooling off, when we were all ready for some sweet relief, it just seemed to get worse.
My cold lingered. And, it didn’t cool down nearly as much as I was hoping it would. It was hot. And muggy. I suppose that’s when I began to let this…whatever…take hold of me, just wishing it would end. I was ready for sweet relief.
Just when I didn’t think I couldn’t take any longer, there was a break in the temperature. Oh, the joy of feeling cool, fresh air! I even went so far as to relocate to a cooler climate after what seemed like ages of just incubating. There isn’t really a good way to describe how nice the coolness felt after sitting stagnant for so long. By now, I had also gotten rid of that dumb cold, but the damage had been done. I didn’t *feel* different, but I knew I wasn’t the same as who I was when I began.
So, now, here I am, feeling old (and a little fat). I’m not who I was, but I think I’m still pretty useful. At least it’s cool where I am.