Write a Personals Ad from Big Foot or the Loch Ness Monster seeking for a partner to love.

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Submitted by Rochelle Lockridge

There are 5 written responses to this assignment.


Let’s Play Footsies

Written by Cris Crissman @Cris2B on August 23, 2013 11:45 pm
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Introvert who found his passion in the Great Outdoors looking for partner with a foot fetish who wants to get off the grid and into the arms of a tall, strong, and gentle Renaissance Man who paints, sings opera, and creates animated gifs.


Pacific West Coast Sasquatch Seeks Companion

Written by JanWeb3 on August 23, 2013 10:59 pm
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Pacific West Coast Sasquatch (presumably male) seeks companion. Prefers blonde ‘spririt bear’ ( presumably female) who has experience wandering the Pacific West Coast forests. Age not a problem, but must have experience with traditional hunting territory and wandering old growth cedar and fir stands. Enjoys dining out at salmon runs, long walks along the river banks, dancing under the full moon and spooking humans who try to disturb or exploit ancient West Coast lands for profit. Wants children; marriage negotiable. Respond to this personal ad with a photoshopped image of your attributes and say why you think you would be a good match for my mythological self.


Wanted

Written by @swilson416 on August 23, 2013 4:14 pm
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Reclusive SGM (Single Green Monster) seeks companionship and possible species regeneration. I enjoy sunsets,
long swims underwater and terrifying the locals. If you are lucky, you may catch a glimpse of me on my webcam.
http://www.lochness.co.uk/livecam/nonjava.html Bounty hunters need not apply.
Contact me via this newspaper.


No More Lone Footprints

Written by @JoeFinucan on August 23, 2013 3:40 pm
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Single male Sasquatch yearning for moderate to mildly hairy female Sasquatch to enjoy camping, nights under the moon and dining out. You – loves to grunt heartily and rarely smells of skunk. Me – excellent forager and good dancer. Tired of leaving lone footprints? Let’s meet in a remote forest and leave footprints together. No yetis or kongs.


Seeking Mr. Right Bigfoot

Written by If you can read, leave me alone. No humans wanted. on August 23, 2013 10:30 am
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FFF BF seeking BMM BF: Are you a Bigfoot, Masculine, and Male? This Full Figure Female enjoys hikes in the woods, swims in the rivers, camping in the snow, and an outdoor life. Desire basics of life in the wild, companionship along life’s way, and someone to talk to. Your past is not important; your endurance is. Leave message for Betty, BR-549.