Dogs and Cats Rule the World

Write a newspaper story from 2035 describing the sociopolitical dynamics of a world now ruled by cats and dogs.

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Submitted by CogDog

There are 2 written responses to this assignment.

Felines protest bill C-117 at City Hall

Written by Kelli Rodriguez on November 14, 2013 12:51 pm
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August 12, 2035 – A group of feline protesters marched on the steps of Rufftown’s city hall Caturday in response to a motion to pass a bill that would effectively ban the possession of catnip within city limits.

Over 1,000 cats, in addition to several humans, were in attendance during the 4 hour protest which decried bill C-117 as an attack on feline rights, and called for the resignation of Rufftown’s mayor, Buster Digby.

“This is just another abuse of power of the majority canine government in this town. Besides, we wouldn’t outlaw slobbery tennis balls, so why should dogs deny cats the right to our recreational activities?” said Patches O’Clawnell, lead organizer and spokesperson for the group Cats Have Feelings Too.

City officials claim the bill would help curb the incidence of vandalism, which has risen 16% in Rufftown over the past 6 months.

“My grandfather installed the fire hydrant on our property,” said Rex Bitersman, a longtime resident of Rufftown. “Everyday I go out to paint it, and by the afternoon it’s covered in scratches.”

Studies regarding the use of the nepeta cataria leaf, more commonly known as catnip, have provided mixed results. While proponents point to its relaxation effects on the family Felidae and popularity as an alternative medicine for anxiety, other studies have shown an increase in hyperactivity, aggressiveness, and criminal activity while under the influence of the drug.

Although the event was mostly peaceful, there were some allegations of hairballs being thrown at police officers. Max Treeclimber, of Rufftown, and Buffy Furrier, of Meowsville, were booked on two misdemeanor counts each and subsequently released.

A town hall meeting is currently scheduled for Birdsday, August 18th, at 7:00 P.M. to debate bill C-117.

When Cats Reclaimed the World

Written by Cris Crissman @Cris2B on November 14, 2013 12:40 am
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Huffington Post, November 13, 2035

Our feline friends have been in power for 20 years now. Things are better and there’s hope for continued improvement. Let’s hope that cats see enough improvement that they continue their work. There was a time, years ago, when they threw up their paws and gave up. Here’s more about this dark period.

Faulkner in The Reivers created an intelligence scale for animals with intelligence defined as “the ability to cope with environment: which means to accept environment yet still retain at least something of personal liberty (121). Cats would obviously rate high on the scale and he tells this story of the period of the feline domination:. . . the dominant creatures were cats: who after ages of trying to cope with the anguishes of mortality — famine, plague, war, injustice, folly, greed — in a word, civilized government — convened a congress of the wisest cat philosophers to see if anything could be done: who after long deliberation agreed that the dilemma, the problems themselves were insoluble and the only practical solution was to give it up, relinquish, abdicate, by selecting from among the lesser creatures a species, race optimistic enough to believe that the mortal predicament could be solved and ignorant enough never to learn better. (122)

A Reader’s Guide to William Faulkner: The Novels
edited by Edmond Loris Volpe