Yesterday’s TDC was to “Create a visual that might accompany one of the mashed up headlines from @twoheadlines” — choose one photo (not one you created!) and write an interesting news story to go with the headline. Be sure to provide a link to both the tweet and the image (maybe it will come in handy later this week?)
Add your response
There are 14 written responses to this assignment.
Travellers are thrilled with the forthcoming merger between Apple and US Airways. Apple has been wanting to acquire an airline in its bid for domination of all the airwaves in recent years. Apple has announced that US Airways will be rebranded to reflect their connection with Apple, with an emphasis on great service and advanced technology. US Airway travelers will only be able to use Apple products while flying with US Airways. Daily flights to the recently proposed Apple space station will be part of the US Airways new services. Apple would not confirm or deny that future plans include building a transporter for instantaneous travel a la Star Trek by using iCloud technology.
Denver, CO — Peyton Manning, quarterback fo the Denver Broncos, has announced his 2014 color of the year: Radiant Orchid.
This announcement has taken many by surprise as Manning’s colors of the year are traditionally used for all merchandise related to him and the Denver Broncos franchise for the year. In the past these colors have been traditional masculine colors: Laser Lemon, Denim, Manatee, etc. Many are concerned that Radiant Orchid, a purple shade, will alienate much of the fanbase.
But Manning stands by his choice of color. “I love this color. I’ve painted my kids’ bedrooms Radiant Orchid. I don’t see why anyone would object to it.”
Well, only the time and profits on franchise merchandise can really tell.
See the image at: https://secure.flickr.com/photos/92826985@N03/11230348604/
Headline: “And the Peyton Manning colour of 2014 is… Radiant Orchid” (from @twoheadlines: https://twitter.com/TwoHeadlines/status/408704079268179968)
Once again the quarterback for the Denver Broncos has picked a winning colour for the year, as shown in this photo from his most recent game where he sported it for the first time. “Radiant Orchid is perfect for football, since its radiance blinds the other team, especially when my throwin’ arm whizzes past them in a blur,” Manning told us after the Broncos defeated the Kansas City Chiefs on December 1. Well, the bright jersey sure didn’t hurt, as his throws sure met their mark that day.
This is the third year that Manning has set himself up as a trendsetter by choosing a colour for the upcoming year. He started the tradition back in 2011 when he was out for the season due to two surgeries on his neck that were necessary to address neck pain and weakness in that famous arm. “I didn’t have much else to do while waiting to heal,” Manning said in an interview in December of 2011, “and I’ve always had creative hobbies. I already helped write a kids book with my brother and dad, and I was really interested in working on the art for that. Instead, I ended up making art through picking colours that I think will be up and coming in the next year.”
He sure did—radiant orchid is clearly a winner. As reported by the Telegraph newspaper in the UK, “And it isn’t just for the female of the species – the hue ‘radiates on the skin, producing a healthy glow when worn by both men and women’ …” (http://fashion.telegraph.co.uk/columns/olivia-bergin/TMG10496684/And-the-Pantone-colour-of-2014-is…-Radiant-Orchid.html). Clearly, as the image of Manning in the colour of 2014 shows, they are right. Have you ever seen such a healthy glow on the face of a quarterback? We think not.
Manning’s 2013 colour was a bright emerald, and sure enough, catwalks and streets the world over showed how prescient he was (as shown by the fashion photos from 2013 provided by the Telegraph in this article: http://fashion.telegraph.co.uk/galleries/TMG9724006/Emerald-Pantones-colour-of-2013.html). But we’re sure that the radiance of 2014’s orchid will outshine last year’s dull gem any day.
Inspired by Seth Goodman’s apple creation — http://www.flickr.com/photos/curiouseth/11231983244/
Friday, December 6, 2013
With true Apple showmanship, the company on Thursday unveiled its latest product made possible by an expansion with an unlikely partner, US Airways. Stalled for over three years in the courts, a judge had ruled on Wednesday that such an expansion was in the interests of the public and would not threaten the public’s right to affordable cell service.
Those suing to block the expansion argued that it would give Apple an unfair advantage and eventually a monopoly in providing cell service. Apple’s ingenious plan is to use specially-designed US Airways dirigibles as floating cell towers. This technology is currently used for surveillance, drug interdiction, and broadcasting major league football games.
To promote its new iBlimp, Apple is sponsoring the “Apple Art” contest which challenges would-be designers to create a iBlimp logo using natural materials such as Macintosh apples. See photo for example created by well-known DS106 student, Seth Goodman.
The Oakland Raiders wish to announce with lots of love the arrival of their little angel, Betty Johnson, born on 6th December 2013. She weighed 5 pounds, 2 ounces and was 14 inches long.
When asked to comment on the birth, defensive coordinator Jason Tarver made an obscene gesture accompanied with an expletive.
When clarification of his comment was requested, Tarver said “I apologize for my action following the birth of Betty. It was in the heat of the moment, and I regret drawing attention away from her birth and what our baby mama accomplished.”
“Close your eyes and let the word paint a thousand pictures,” Kanye West tweeted last week after his trip to Shenzhen, Guangdong Province, China.
Rumours started flying that Kanye had hired Andy Warhol to paint the exterior premises of the head office of Huawei, a Chinese multinational networking and telecommunications company based in Shenzhen. Given that Warhol died almost 30 years ago, this would be challenging but Kanye is not one to shy away from difficult situations and the popular media is not one to let a rumour go unreported.
Kanye spent a few years in China as a child and that prepared him for a lifetime of fame.
“I think being in China got me ready to be a celeb because, at that time, a lot of Chinese had never seen a black person. They would always come up and also stare at me, fishbowl me and everything. And that’s kind of the way it is for me right now,” Kanye mused in an interview for the Sabotage Times.
Huawei released an official statement indicating that Kanya West has been hired to guest star in a series of scathing infomercial attacks ads against companies they feel infringe on their IP.
“We’re going to bring our competitors to the sink and then give them something to drink!” raps the catchy slogan Kanye’s recent single. Kanye goes on to lyrically mimic many famous quotes by Warhol, including “Making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art”
That’s why Kanye’s partnership with Huawei is a match made in heaven.
“We made it to Thanksgiving! Maybe we’ll make it to Christmas!” was his last tweet before turning the plan ’round.
The once feared Raider Nation is trying something new. In an effort to deflect the focus on their ineptness as a football team, the Oakland Raiders have begun a new initiative, adopting and caring for children. The goal is to have other teams see the Raiders as soft and caring and thus have other teams take them even more lightly than they currently are.
The first adoption is baby Katie. Plans are to bring her out with the team captains during the coin flip. Their opponents will be encouraged to tickle and say “Koochie Koo” to the infant instead of the usual handshake. While this method is not based on any research, the team is desperate. The Vikings, Texans and Jaguars are currently looking into a similar program, only with puppies and kittens.
AP News, New York– Federal investigators assure the public that there is no danger of radioactivity at Yankee Stadium after discovery of a mysterious canister in an unused locker of the New York Yankees clubhouse. The Cesium-135 was traced to a waste transfer truck that had been stolen in Twin Buttes, Idaho and driven to near the Canadian Border in North Dakota.
“All of our laboratory testing confirms that the isotopes never escaped the Captain America lead lined thermos that was inside the canister.” reported Nuclear Security and Incident Response spokesperson Rime Bens, “We still do not know how it arrived here or for what purposes.”
But Toronto Blue Jays manager Kerno Davidhan has a theory, and is filing a complaint with Major League Baseball for an incident associated with their loss to the 4-2 loss to the Yankees on August 21, 2013. Davidhan cited a film review of the bat swung by Funes Mariana in the 9th inning home run that sealed the game.
“Our infrared filtering processing of the footage clearly shows that Soriano had Cesium-135 more than the allowed 18inches up the bat handle.”
Losing Blue Jays pitcher Lock Patley stated, “Jayzus. I could see the green glow all the way up the bat. The blimey thing landed 10 feet from me, and I’ve had bollucks of headaches ever since.”
League official spokesperson For Giulasythe report that the MLB is reviewing the case, but for those with baseball history in mnd, there is an obvious familiarity to the disputed use of pine tar by George Brett in the July 24, 1983 game betweien the Kansas City Royals and Yankees. Rule 2.106(d) of the 2002 Official Rules of Major League Baseball states that batters may apply Cesium-135 only from the handle of the bat extending up for 18 inches.
With the baseball season long over and the game in question past, Yankees Skipper Kim Droom shrugs it off, “Whatssa matta? None of us was in da series, dat game did not even influence the end of the season.”
Meanwhile, the batter in question, Funes Mariana, refused comment while going through personal training and scuba diving certification in an isolated island off the coast of Venezuela. Rumors of him deep diving without aparatus remain unconfirmed.
“Stolen radioactive material in New York Yankees found, no risk to population, official says” https://twitter.com/TwoHeadlines/statuses/408462480223244288
http://www.flickr.com/photos/44585373@N08/11228113394/ (Pat Lockley)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/59217476@N00/11227246886/ (Giulia Forsythe)
Darth Vader caused controversy when he turned up at 1 Infinite Loop to take a selfie. When welcomed by Apple staff he merely stated:
“You may dispense with the pleasantries, commander. I am here to put you back on schedule”
Clearly referring to the fact that Apple has not produced a game changing product since Steve Jobs death on October 5th 2011. He was holding the new iPad Air to take his selfie, but was clearly dismissive about Apple’s claim on the power of lightness of their new iPad,
“The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the force”
After the selfie was uploaded to Instagram he turned to leave, a journalist stopped to ask him if he was not concerned about his image as the dark lord suffering as a result of this populist move. Breathing more heavily than usual, he turned, grabbed the journalist by his legs and said:
“You underestimate the power of the dark side and no, I am not your father”
The selfie uploaded to Instagram was amongst #tophits for a number of days. There is talk of R2D2 going to the Microsoft Campus and posing for an unselfie instead before joining Photoplay.
(photos and more details can be found at: http://bit.ly/1gKub5G
Speaking in response to yesterdays UK Budgetary Statement, White House spokesperson Jay Cerney warned against future market effervescence caused by an unprecedented build up of toxic carbon dioxide in the Hang Seng Index, NYSE and FTSE.
“What (UK Chancellor of the Exchequer) George Osborne has done is the epitome of recklessness,” said Cerney. “He is right that this toxic CO2 must be removed from the markets, but his addition of inverted sugar syrup, sweeteners, Cola nuts, bergamont and lime juice and serving bond derivatives with ice and free refills must be seen in the context of the US Mentos project. In combination this could be explosive and potentially very, very messy”
One New York trader, James “Bava” Groom, added “this is like the MOOC hype bubble, times several billion. I can’t think what Osborne is up to.” And speaking to us via Skype, Stanford analyst Andrew Ng said “… hello… yes… is this thing working…. can you see my slides”. Google’s Sebastian Thrun was unavailable for comment as he was facing 180 degrees in the other direction… “there should be only 10 degrees by 2050,” said a colleague.
A suspicious individual known as “Slide Guy” has been seen on the trading floor, laughing uproariously. But our traders wait under umbrellas for the inevitable consequences.
From image by Seth Goodman
If Apple and US Airways have their way you will no longer have to be just in once place and you will be able to access yourself from anywhere at any time. Initial reports confirm that US Airways is hoping that by the merger will allow travelers the choice to either actually fly on the airplanes or simply download themselves somewhere else, Apple insiders are leery of travelers actually wanting to continue with the crowds, poor food, and delays that go with flight on commercial airlines.
No one was more stunned Sunday night than Oakland Raiders quarterback Matthew McGloin when he helped deliver a healthy 7 pound, 3 ounce baby girl. During a clutch 3rd down, 12 yard conversion attempt, expecting mother (and rabid Radiers fan) Jemima Groom, rushed onto the field screaming in labor pain. Although most fans expected Raiders coach, Dennis Allen, to make a last minute substitution for veteran quarterback Terrelle Pryor (4 live births in his last 3 games, one of those in overtime), Allen reportedly wanted to “give the rookie [McGloin] a chance to prove himself”. Upon successful ruling and reception of the baby by the line judge, Jemima and her husband, Alan, thanked Matthew McGloin, before retaking their seats only to be disappointed by the Raiders loss to the Cowboys.
RE:Tom Woodward at:
and me at:
Straight Talk Huawei H881C Ascend Plus Android Prepaid Smartphone
Contrary to recent news headlines, American hip hop recording artist, entrepreneur and fashion designer Kanye West, born 1977, did NOT hire Andy Warhol, who died in 1987, to design smartphone skins with his monthly allowance when he was six years old.
The allegations stated that West was a child electronics wunderkind who invented the Straight Talk Huawei Android Prepaid Smartphone with his Legos kit in 1986.
He approached Mr. Warhol with a design concept for the retro 60s smartphone skins when West’s mother took him to see a Warhol retrospective at the Chicago Museum of Art opening.
Warhol entertained the nascent rapper with a certain benevolent avuncularity, patted him on the head and said,”That’s nice, kid. Now scram before I put you in a Campbell’s Tomato soup can and zip the lid on.”
Turning to West’s mom, he said, “What IS a smartphone, anyway? Kid’s a sharp little dresser. Take those Legos away and give him a Singer sewing machine.”
Warhol was dead within the year, but his advice proved prescient as West went on to become a leading fashion designer for hip hop culture in the early years of the twenty-first century.
The Huawei smartphone design reemerged as a leading Walmart brand, still, sadly, only available in black.
Star Wars, the franchise that Disney will be continuing to produce from long, long ago, is moving into the digital self-absorption age. Mr. Darth Vader, a spokesperson of the Empire, said recently, “Now I can use social media to learn what the rebels are up to. Who needs to waste energy on The Force? I need all I got just to breath!” [note: “The Force” is considered to be a mythical projection of thought that causes action at a distance. Modern technology accomplishes the effect with network interfaces, demonstrating the falsehood of such ancient myths.] In addition, Mr. Vader explained that he might release a self-portrait in an effort to stop the Rebel Alliance by his visage.
Rebel General Jar-Jar Binks, posing in a self-portrait, said, “Yep, you right! Apple issa maker of iPads, I tink. And Instagram will maka da picture nice.” He went on to describe the fun that his Army buddies have sharing pictures of themselves on the battlefields of various planets.
In related news, Apple Inc. has officially changed their corporate identity to A Apple Inc. This move is thought to ensure that they appear first alphabetically, especially in any list that contains the name of their archenemies M Microsoft Inc. and S Samsung Inc. Always trendsetters, A Apple Inc leads the way in letterification embellishment of corporate identities.
For further updates, as they occur, check in with our partner website www.nsa.gov. Simply provide the information they seek, and the Empire will endure. The original tweet for this story occured at https://twitter.com/TwoHeadlines/status/407970369447161856, which as been archived at our partner’s ds106 Universal Data Center.
Image of Messers Vader and Binks can be found at http://flic.kr/p/i7wWiG