You’re dead

This year, I will not…

–	Stop staring at the treadmill, hoping that that alone helps me get in better shape

–	Unfortunately, get any healthier

–	Give up playing NBA 2K14

–	Pick up extra hours at my current job

–	Get a new job working night shift

–	Stop feeling like there’s something we need to get done around the house

–       Not plant anything in my yard

–	Quit dreaming of things to do to my car

–	Read a book after I graduate in June

–	Be satisfied if we do not have a baby.

1. Get any younger

2. Stop boring everyone with photos of my lovely dog

3. Get any thinner though I might get fatter

4. Get up at 7am monday to friday and go swimming, I will just keep turning up when I can after my morning coffee

5. Get the new edition of my book Laughing Matters on to Scalar

6. Stop learning how to gif until I get as good as MBS or JJ

7. Work any harder than I did last year, a quiet life is priceless

8. Give up my daily meditation practice

9. Stop taking Gifadog swimming regularly – this year I might get some photos

10. Give up my coveted position as the DS106 Shrink or be lacking in art

In 2014 you won’t find me doing the following:
10. posting daily on this blog, there what a relief. Perhaps that will free me up to write more when I give myself permission not to post. The stress and guilt have been a bit much this year.
9.   hot yoga! It is hard enough to sit still and stretch, never mind sweat and have that inner conversation with myself.

8. meditating. I tried this year, the inner conversations were not beneficial. I am incapable of sitting still that long. I respect those who can.
7. Giving up carbs. I hurt people. And cheese, I can lower the amounts, but eliminate? Get real!
6. Giving up wine, see above.
5. Giving up coffee. Seriously? I teach middle school people. That will always be a non-negotiable.
4. Give up time with my husband and kids to do things like organize things, go to meetings, or do errands. They are and always will be my priority, not a to-do list.
3. Scanning all the photos that are in boxes all over my house. I know, I know, I should, but I won’t. Get over it, I have. 
2. Stop posting on Facebook. If you think my posts are annoying, boring or whatever, defriend me.
1. Stop working out, trying new recipes, or in general getting healthier this year. Made some good steps in 2013, need to keep moving forward.
So there it is, the things I won’t be doing in 2014. Let me know your list, and go to The Daily Create and post it there as well. https://tdc.ds106.us/tdc722/
Happy New Year!! See you in 2014!

I will not:

-always get The Daily Creates done on time, or be committed to them daily

-destroy the space-time continuum with the TDM/7300

-use the word “literally” literally

-take life too seriously

-ignore the parts of life that should be taken seriously

-pay off the mortgage, retire, live without money, or otherwise be financially independent

-move to Strawberry, Saudi Arabia, Canada, or Fredericksberg

-reenlist in the Navy

-go off the internet, even though going back to analog is attractive

-stop

Get any younger, no matter what it says on the bottle of my expensive face cream.  Sigh.
Stay the same, because I am always moving forward even when I’m standing still.
Give up.

10.  I will use up all of the fifteen bags of various gluten-free flours that I have in my frig. — from almond to sorghum and then there’s xanthan gum, whatever that is.
9.   I will grow pomegranates.
8.  I will create time capsules for all of my projects.
7.  I will never tell a lie -http://hereandnow.wbur.org/2013/12/27/harris-lying-book
6.  I will watch every classic movie on my list.
5.  I will master Final Cut Pro.
4.  I will write a book about my experiences teaching digital storytelling to middle schoolers.
3.  I will find a way to organize all of my photos so I can find what I need when I need it.
2.  I will not even try to stop completing the Daily Creates. 
1.  I will not forget that I made this list.

1. Appreciate light jazz

2. Flash imaginary gang signs

3. Tweet updates

4. Wax an elderly man

5. Sport a whimsical print

6. Take one for the team

7. Take Vegans more seriously

8. Espouse a visionary philosophy

9. Allow a Llama to take a dump on my face

10. Wear anything ribbed for her pleasure

Will not read Proust or Ulysses

will not make any predictions for the next year

will probably not finish all moocs I am trying to finish

will not join a board or a committee

will not make a 365/365 photo every day of this year for my 365/365 photoblog

will not buy a new mac. Will use Ubuntu.

will not make my own Christmas cards (did that yesterday)

will not grow any more carrots in my garden. Bugs always eat my carrots.

Will not every day do the dailycreate of ds106

will not write silly lists 

(I am feeling as if I am reverse mode here, with the double “nots” and the things I won’t accomplish, so good luck making heads and tails of any of this. I gave up as I was writing …)
* make any more lists

* not play the Tuba. If someone gives me a Sousaphone, though, I figure I can rock it no matter what.

* lick any more stamps. They’re all stickers, right? How come I keep finding the licking kind in our house?

* buy any more elk antlers for the dog. I mean, elk antlers? He’s a dog.

* forget about the Daily Create for days on end. Catching up to past ideas is hell on the family.

* play my guitar out of tune. My guitar is always out of tune. I’m just darn a lazy tuner. I need a guitar sherpa who can tune it for me whenever I pick it up.

* I resolve again this year not to fix my handwriting. I can read it. Too bad you can’t.

* run ten miles every day. Won’t be doing that.

* Facebook? Nope. Another year Zuckerberg’s advertising henchmen won’t catch me.

* get a second pet. The kids can lobby hard, like K-Street bandits, but no more pets are entering this house (wait, if this is a double negative list then does that mean I just agreed to get another pet … see … told you I was confused … don’t let my kids see this)

Assignment: New Year non-resolutions. List 10 things you will not accomplish in 2014.
10: Gain more weight.
9: Climb Mt. Everest.
8: Get arrested.
7: Stay stuck in a place I don’t want to be.
6: Buy a new car.

5: Keep our cat alive. :(  (She’s sick… She’ll probably go this year…)
4: Eat too many carbs.
3: Have a loving relationship with my extended family. (Geez, I don’t accomplish that any year!)
2: Get malaria. (I’m immune!)
1: Worry about the past years.

because I like reading mysteries.
because I enjoy baking and eating donuts and cookies.
because I can’t wait for season four of Downton Abbey.
because I am not training for a marathon.
because I don’t care about my dusty furniture.
because I leave my Christmas decorations up until February.
because my dogs sleep on the bed with us.
because I sometimes eat ice cream for breakfast.
because I start each day with a four-shot latte.
because I’m not wearing a fitness band. 

1. Write a blog post twice a week

2. Grade papers as soon as they are submitted despite using Google Docs, Google Keep, and Evernote

3. Exercise for an hour every day

4. Give up Callebaut Belgian Milk Chocolate and Kimball Farm’s creamy chocolate ice cream (which is why I need to exercise) and baking chocolate chip cookies from scratch (putatively for my advisees)

5. Sleep 8 hours a night

6. #OOE13: contribute to the Google+ group every day

7. Tweet every day

8. Contribute to my Google+ groups every day

9. Read for pleasure a book a week during the academic year

10. Cook every day

Ten Things I Will Not Accomplish in 2014
1. To my everlasting regret, I will not become a helicopter pilot flying tourists into live volcano craters in 2014.
2. I am sorry to say this is not the year I receive reserved time on the Keck Telescope to finish my groundbreaking research into a final defense of the worth of astrology as a pure science.
3. I know it seems odd, but this is not the year I start breeding AKC hairless dogs or go on the cat show circuit.
4. Unfortunately, I have had to cancel my plans to run with the bulls in Pamplona.
5. And even if Hillary Clinton begs, I won’t accept the position as her personal wardrobe mistress in 2014. I will revisit this decision as the election draws nearer.
6. It seems a pity that my husband won’t let me date George Clooney this year. If Clooney continues to pursue me, this may be the year my husband files a cease and desist court order dissuading him.
7. I understand it is peculiar that 2014 is the 64th year in a row I will have abstained from eating asparagus, soft-boiled eggs, rutabagas, turnips, parsnips and Jerusalem artichokes.
8.Although excavating dinosaurs with the crew from the American Museum of Natural History in the Flaming Cliffs region of Mongolia has been on my bucket list ever since I read Mark Norell’s book, it looks like 2014 is sadly not going to be the year for that little jaunt.
9. I will not be moving to Strawberry, Arizona this year.
10. 2014 is not the year I stop doing Daily Creates. #DS 106 4 Life!

In 2014, I resolve to not:

1.  Successfully finish projects I

10. I will not run an ultramarathon in 2014.

9. I will not run a multiday race  in 2014.

8. I will not run a marathon in 2014.

7. I will not run a half marathon in 2014.

6. I will not run a 1600m race  in 2014.

6. I will not run a 10k  in 2014.

5. I will not run a 5k in 2014.

4. I will not an 800m sprint  in 2014.

3. I will not run a 400m spring  in 2014.

2. I will not run a turkey trot in 2014.

1. I will not run the 100 yard dash  in 2014.
Just to be clear* http://dommy.com/ihaterunning
*Previously finishing a marathon and a few others on this list was the cause of a secret resolution in 2005. All along I found I HATE RUNNING.
I might run a 0.1k I hear THAT Brewery might sponsor this year. Maybe.

So, it said to write resolutions about what I would NOT accomplish in 2014. 
10. I will not make it through 2014 without making new True Friends.

9. I will not make zero animated GIFs in 2014.

8. I will not let Tumblr hobble my Art with their silly unpublished rules.

7. I will not forget about the unicorns and the rainbows. Plus, Jim Groom.

6. I will not always travel via shipping container. I will take some pics of me travelling in the open.

5. I will not make jokes about The Stairs all of the time. Just some of the time.

4. I will not make a True Friends badge for @VivienRolfe in 2014 (because I made it in 2013!)

3. I will not have an Art Lack. I will make Art, bub.

2. I will not say the mean word. I challenge you to do the same, especially about me.

1. I will NOT forget about ds106. I mean, how could you, ever? It is #4life.  
That is my list of things! See you in 2014, Friends!

Well, bye! 

10. I will not get to 160 pounds in 2014 (I spend my entire 20s at 160 pounds and used to boast that I could eat anything and never gain weight. Hah!)
9. I will not visit the Moon. I want to, but they’ll never pay my flight expenses.
8. I will not start a new career as a grizzled old gold prospector. Though it would be fun.
7. I will not get a syndicated talk show in 2014. Not that I couldn’t, but I will be too busy not being a prospector.
6. I will not run for Prime Minister of Australia in 2014. Elections aren’t until 2016.
5. I will not buy an iPad in 2014. Nor any Apple product.
4. For yet another year, I will fail to climb Kilimanjaro in 2014. I do hope to get there before the snows are all gone.
3. My best-selling groundbreaking work in education and philosophy will not be published in 2014.
2. I will not reach the South Pole in 2014. That will have to wait until 2015, when I have the project funding for it.
1. I will not become a Zombie in 2014.

>Reaping self-grown tea.

>Selling my 12 big Harry Potter paintings for 5000€ per painting.

  [But I may sell them for 5001€ p.p. ;) ]

>Folding 10000 cranes.

>I probably wont achieve a big kitchen worth around 5000€.

  (It’s really not that important.)

>Riding on an elephant. (Probably not.)

>dying.

>Becoming a butterfly catcher.

>A journey to the polar bears. (I may achieve this later on. I’ve time as long as they are existing.

                                              The poles are  melting!!!)

>Becoming famous. (Probably not.)

>Getting younger.

1.	Regain my virginity.

2.	Stop being O+ (“universal donor”) and switch to AB- for once.

3.	Remember the Alamo (because I wasn’t there).

4.	Become Republican.

5.	Tell my kids to get a real job.

6.	Mow my neighbor’s lawn.

7.	Finish that potholder project.

8.	Like Alan Alda.

9.	Inherit millions.

10.	Take up scrapbooking.