What did the pirates take – remember, it was an unexpected item!

…. So that they can sing on the #ds106 Radio, and make many GIF’s of Groom and Bond on the Weekly post videos!!

Hiding under the bed, I hear their walk up the steps from the docks.  Who could it be coming this way?  My ears focus on the terror headed my way.  The sound of  dragging metal on  wood with an occasional knock of a wooden peg while walking…  It’s the pirates.  They have returned.  I thought their previous trip that almost ended my life would be their last.  What could they possibly want?  I have nothing left to give..  I hear the breaking of glass, the tossing of my belongings, and laughter.  How can they be so cold to destroy my things?  In my fear, I remain still.

More crashing, they are now throwing my only belongings.  I can take no more.  If they kill me, they will have to take my life.
I run in screaming….  “WHAT DO YOU MONSTERS WANT?  JUST TAKE IT AND LEAVE ME BE!”
The pirates stand there speechless..  Surely they will kill me now.  The one legged pirate steps forward and looks me straight in the eyes.  “Do you have any more of that cheese in a can?”  “Cheese in a can?” I ask.

Opening my cabinet behind me, I spy an unopened can of cheese spread in a can.  My last can of cheese for my only box of Triscuits…  Is the cheese worth my life?  No..  I hand over the unopened can of cheese spread and as an extra bargaining tool, I even throw in the box of Triscuits.

“Please, with this last can of cheese, Please vow that you will never return again”, I beg.
“You have our word”….   
That was the last I ever saw of the pirates…  and my can of cheese spread…  Damn Pirates!

The pirates have landed only to take our soap and cleaning supplies! Who would have guessed there would be such a thing as clean pirates!

My name is Cris and I am a pirate.
I get notices from YouTube frequently that my videos are banned in numerous foreign countries.  
I used to teach my students that any unauthorized use of a copyrighted work is wrong.  And there was a time when I believed in the impossible and improbable Fair Use math puzzle — ten lines of this, 30 seconds of that.
But, more and more I have come to believe in the combinatorial nature of creativity and the freedom to create that digital technology offers us.
Now I carefully consider my use and if my remixing, mashing-up in any way infringe on the copyright owners’ ability to earn profits from their creations and the other factors known as the Fair Use Factors (http://fairuse.stanford.edu/overview/fair-use/four-factors/ ).   If my decisions are principled, then I feel that I am honoring the copyright holder’s rights and Jefferson’s intent that we are able to stand on the shoulders of others to create.
I walk the thin line between piracy and creativity.
What did the pirates take?
Only what’s inherently ours — the license to create.

It was another blistering day along the coast, with the winds out to sea and into a roiling storm in the east. We should not have been there, spying as we were from behind the sea grapes, but rumors of pirates spreads fast in our village and we were never ones to turn down a chance for adventure. But what we saw, it made no sense. Yes, the pirates were there, with the ship moored in deeper waters and rowboats aplenty lining the shore. They should have been an impressive sight, clothed as they were in the most expensive finery we had ever seen as if they had come ashore to celebrate, but instead they scrabbled about the sand, cursing and picking at pebbles. Their captain was red faced and shouting at a brute of a man, who was hunched as if the words assaulted more than his ears, more than his pride. They had come thinking our sands were golden with treasure, the captain shouted, lured by the words of a sea witch whose lies had reached his first mate. If they could not gather treasure, they would gather pebbles instead and bury the sea witch in depths so dark that even the sharks would not be able to descend upon her to feed. We watched until sundown, in confusion, in amusement, and in fear. We watched until sundown as all the shore’s pebbles were rowed back to the ship and sailed away into the night.

They landed on a gloomy day, as if it were a sign they were coming. As they stepped foot on the ground, all criminals were taken away. Although, while the pirates were amongst us, they were invisible. The abduction of all of our criminals lasted all of 10 minutes yet no one knew any time lapsed because human time was frozen. When the pirates were done, the time unfroze and our lives continued on as usual.
Not days, not weeks, but hours later, our law enforcement officials have noticed the criminals were gone. They even looked through their database and everyone who was found had clean records. 
Our country got saved by the pirates, they didn’t take anything from us that we value.

I don’t know why, but they decided to make my life hell.
They came ashore and stole all my left shoes.

It’s been an old mystery that no one has ever had the answer to. They have been disappearing everywhere for decades. It affects us all, all the time, and it’s been these dirty pirates all along. We finally have the answer to the question we all ask. Where do all of our socks go? Damn sock pirates. It’s the only logical solution.

Well, I was out on a mission that lasted a few days and so I wasn’t in my office and when I came back, I couldn’t find my remote control for my ninja cupboard. It is always in the special hiding place so that no one can find it, but when I came back, it was gone from the hiding space. That caused me a little bit of consternation.
So I didn’t think of the pirates first, but then, after a bit of investigation work, I thought of the pirates. So I was just about to go sneak up on them when I found it in the fridge beside the milk. Imagine that! So they didn’t all have to walk the stairs, just some of them. 
So that was a lesson for them for next time.

The pirates have landed!  To everyone’s surprise there were no video discussions being held Wednesday @ the designated time.  Who would have ever known the value they sought in the art created in DS 106.  Though we knew there was a mystic aura when the students of DS 106 pursued answers as to why they had been stood up for the Wire discussion and to everyone’s astonishment is was because Paul Bond and Jim Groom had been captured and taken by the wretched pirates that had landed!  The END.

The first site of land the Pirates saw and ABC store. They went into the store and took all the dark rum possible.

And they took… Kim Kardashian’s booty! (ha.. get it..)

….at Office Depot and demanded that the employees hand over every last paperclip they have stocked. Soon after, they created the largest paperclip anchor possible and had some leftover to create some bling for themselves to make them look more intimidating.

A dozen Krispy Kreme Donuts!

After the raid we dusted ourselves off, buried the dead and started picking up the pieces of our lives. Many had lost their most precious belongings, money and jewellery of course, tools and weapons, winter stores and supplies, all of the whisky  and rum. We didn’t morn these riches and practical goods, we didn’t really care that we would go hungry when the season turned. We wept for our brothers and sisters lost, dead or taken, but more than that, buried in our hearts, we mourned our innocence. The next strange ship to appear round the curve of the bay would be met with suspicion rather than welcome smiles. The horizon would no longer be scanned for whales, un-met friends or serendipity but with dread.

The pirates raided the local library for abook list they got off Good Reads:
 A Dummies Guide to Pillaging

Turbo Tax for the Shore Impaired

Sea Shanties to Live Your Best Life By

Galley Greats or How to Raid a Pantry

Real Pirates Don’t Eat Gluten

Avast Ye Maties! A Pirate’s Guide to Glottal Stops and Other Wonders of the High Seas Dialect

“I’m Only Here for My Screws” by Barnaby Bill the Sailor

Slash, Parry, and Thrust: First Aid for Pirates

So You Want to Be a Pirate? Home Truths for Bad Little Boys and Girls

By Hook or by Crook: Deciding on the Right Pirate Prosthetic For You

Captain Fluoride and his crew swarmed the dentists office, the hygienists ran around in fear. It was utter chaos, but Fluoride and his crew would not leave until they had found what they were looking for. It was something that they were all desperate for. Proper dental care. 
Fluoride and his men ransacked all the toothbrushes, and floss. He could not lose any more of his pirates to the scurvy. It was wreaking havoc on his men, and without the proper dental care he would be doomed to lose more men. The captain did not stop there however, he held up the Dentist with his sword demanding all the gold teeth that were in this office. Once Fluoride and his men had collected all they needed they fired cannons through the windows and were on their way!

… and when all the chalk was gone, they went for the paper. And then the pens, and the pencils. Glue sticks, rulers, sticky notes and more. It all was taken away. We put up a fight, briefly, when they reached for our laptops and more than a few of us got hurt in the scuffle when they came for our phones. We then watched as the desks disappeared, followed closely by the chairs. That left us standing around until our teacher was duly wrapped up in duct tape and carted away through the doorway to some place unknown.

All we had left was us.

“That should do it,” the leader of the pirate cadre announced. He scratched his beard rather thoughtfully, and the rooster on his shoulder gave out a little crow of success. “Nothing to hold yee back now, kids. Learn and follow yer own map of learning to yer own treasure chest of ideas. Let it be known that Pirate Terry was here and that you are free to sail yer own seas, not follow the navigational course of these fools and their corporate book learning.”

And we did.