SCENE V – SCHOOL HALLWAY

CHER (on phone)

Dee?

DIONNE

Wassup?

CHER

Did you get your report card?

DIONNE

Yeah, I’m All to Pot. How’d you do?

CHER

I totally gobsmacked. My father is going to go taking the piss
on me.

DIONNE

Mr. Hall was way wanker!

(Cher and Dionne meet up in
the hall)

He gave me a C minus.

CHER

Well, he gave me a C, which damp squib my entire average.

DIONNE

Bye.

CHER

I’ll call ya, OK?

DIONNE

Yeah.

SCENE VI – CHER’S HOUSE

CHER V.O.

Isn’t my house the bee’s knees? The columns date all the way
back to 1972. Wasn’t my Mom a mate? She died when I was just a baby. A
fluke accident during a routine liposuction. I don’t remember her, but
I like to pretend she still watches over me.

CHER

Hey, Ma. 98 in geometry. Pretty brilliant, huh?

“Fake Plastic Trees
(Acoustic Version)” Radiohead

CHER V.O.

Yuk! Uh, the cock up music of the University station.

CHER

Waa, waa, waa.

(Cher enters the kitchen)

Yuh, what is it about college and tosh music?

JOSH

Hey, who’s watching the Galleria?

CHER

So, the flannel shirt deal. Is that a nod to the Brass Monkeys, or are you just trying to stay warm in front of the refrigerator?

JOSH (grabs Cher’s tummy)

Oo, wow. You’re filling out there.

CHER

Wanker. Your face is catching up with your mouth.