How I Got Where I Am Today

Back in those days, I was in the habit of taking breakfast on Wednesdays down at Emoji’s, a Japanese/Mexican bistro where I could get a hot plate of chilaquiles and an espresso with the image of Jesus swirled into the crema.

Every Wednesday, I’d sit down, order up, and power up the old iPad Air we all used to pack back in the net neutrality days, back before the entire world wide web started dying in the hive one hub at a time like virtual colony collapse disorder.

One day, I was sitting there minding my own – maybe I was cruising some NSFW sites, but WTF, I’m as susceptible to click bait as the next guy–and I saw these two cops outside the café window posing for a third cop– a cute young thang trying for arty.

You’d think that with the way this little burg is papered with my mug shot that I could resist, but no, I popped up between them and photo bombed the heck out of their little lovefest.

That sort of explains why the photog cop got the inspiration to run facial recog on me, and also explains why I’m sitting in this medium security cell trying to explain the fine points of click fraud to a guy who has been here since before the web was born, lived, and more or less imploded.

I’m telling you, it’s like teaching a rock to swim.