How to Make a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

1. Get out a large plate and two knives.
2. Take two pieces of whole wheat bread. Take nice pieces from the middle of the loaf and place them on the plate. Save the ends of the bread for croutons or something.
3. Get the peanut butter out of the refrigerator. Hopefully someone will have already stirred up the peanut butter so the oil is not separated on the top.
4. If there is no stirred up peanut butter in the refrigerator, get a new jar from the cabinet. Use a knife or chopsticks or whatever you have to stir the peanut butter well; otherwise the top will be oily and the bottom will be very dry.
5. If you don’t like the oil running all down the sides of the jar, you can dump the peanut butter into a bowl and stir it up in there. It’s neater but now you have to wash the bowl.
6. You could also use the peanut butter like skippy or jiff that is already homogenized, but I don’t think it tastes as good and it has added stuff in it.
7. Use your knife to spread peanut butter on one slice of bread.
8. Now get the jelly out of the refrigerator. If you don’t like the kind of jelly that’s in the refrigerator, pretend you don’t see it and get a new jar of strawberry preserves or other yummy flavor from the cabinet.
9. Use a clean knife to spread jelly on the other slice of bread. Do not use the same knife that you used for the peanut butter or you will be cross-contaminating the jelly with the peanut butter.
10. Pick up the peanut butter-covered slice of bread and place it upside down on top of the jelly-covered slice of bread with the peanut butter and jelly touching.
11. Cut your sandwich in half across the diagonal.
12. Clean up your mess by putting the peanut butter and jelly back in the refrigerator and the knives in the sink. Enjoy your peanut butter and jelly sandwich!