It was a chilaquiles and double espresso kind of day; the colony collapse disorder click bait and click fraud came in rapid bursts — except at occasional intervals, when they were interrupted by a virulent photo bomb of nsfw memes and emoji strings, which incessantly pinged my Twitter feed (for it is in social media that such “WTF” distraction lies), disturbing the barista’s carefully-crafted pattern in my crema, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the net neutrality that strained the coffee shop Wi-Fi.