A gigantic tire stops just millimeters from Woody’s nose.
Gobsmacked, Woody inches away from the tire, moving back
under the truck until he bumps into Buzz.
BUZZ
(into wrist communicator)
According to my nava-computer, the —
WOODY
(whispering)
Bugger All! Just shut up, you Wanker!!
BUZZ
Sherriff Mate, this is no time to let all to pot.
WOODY
This is the perfect time to let all to pot!
I’m gutted, Andy is gone, they’re
going to move from their house in
two days and it’s a real cock up!!
BUZZ
I’m gobsmacked?! If you hadn’t buggered it all and pushed
me out of the window in the first
place —
WOODY
Tosh! Well, if YOU hadn’t
shown up in your stupid little
cardboard spaceship and taken away
everything that I gave the bees knees about
BUZZ
Bugger all! Don’t talk to me about bees knees.
Because of YOU mate the security of this
entire universe is in jeopardy.
WOODY
(incredulous)
WHAT?!! What rubish are you talking about?!
Buzz walk to the edge of the truck tire and points up to the
stars.
BUZZ
Right now, poised at the edge of
the galaxy, the wanker Emperor Zurg has been
secretly building a weapon with the
destructive capacity to annihilate
an entire planet. I alone have brilliant
information that reveals this
weapon’s only weakness.
(pointing at Woody)
And you, mate, are responsible
for bollocking up my rendez-vous with
Star Command.
Woody lost the plot.
WOODY
YOU damp squid! You ARE A TOY!!! You aren’t the
real Buzz Lightyear, you’re an
action figure!! You are a child’s
plaything!!!
BUZZ
You are a sad knackered little man
and you have my pity. Farewell.
Buzz walks off.
WOODY
Oh, yeah? Well, cheers to you, ya
Gutted Wanker!
Woody walks away in the opposite direction.